Gracious One...

A Prayer

2010-01-26T10:09:00.000Z

Lord, thank You for being slow to anger and filled with compassion. May I not presume upon Your mercy by assuming that there will be no consequences to my sin. Help me instead to confess it. Amen.

Stress or no stress???? ish...

2009-09-01T22:42:00.004+01:00

3 weeks of Psych then 3 weeks of Health Care of the Elderly, then 3 weeks of Psych again... sheesh!!! And here I am, all jumbled up with demented patients, psychotic patients, aggressive patients signs and symptoms... For once, i feel so dumb... gah.... time to buck up and as Paul said, “I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us” (Philippians 3:13-14)

This article serves as a reminder again and again of moving beyond mediocrity and to reach towards the goal He and I made together. With 2 ever-willing and enthusiastic SpR so eager to keep me occupied what more can I ask? hahhahha...

And besides that, I had an awesome weekend of rest and catching up and just doing nothing! In the little town of Tooting, if u call that a town... hahahha... Meeting new people, catching up with friends, in the company of ppl who were part of my life in IMU, not forgetting shopping and window shopping(!!!!) was just awesome! A well rested one, with no worries... Thank you, Lynn!!!! *hugs*

Time to get started on reading... All that's n my head now is clozapine... @.@ the "wonder" medicine in forensic psych! hahahha...

Freeeeeeedddddooooommmmmm!!!

2009-08-27T17:09:00.003+01:00

Well... nearly freedom but the the feelings of elation deep within is irresistable... LOL... First time in my life (or maybe in recent years) have I completed an assigned task way earlier than the deadline.... =) The reports which are due in on Monday, have finally been completed way ahead of time despite it involving sacrificing many hours of sleep. I look forward to bed tonight! =)

4 reports to be completed in 3 weeks, with 2 holding a 67% weightage for this module sucks big time... Anyway, I hope that i did a good work out of it... I am in no way a suitable constructive criticism candidate for my own work...I have yet to learn this whole thing of constructive criticism thing that is ever present in all reports here... gah!

One ECT in the morning to be signed off tomorrow for my Psych module, and a forum cum presentation to get signed off for this Health Care of the Elderly Module and I am done with geriatrics...

My 2 cents of this whole posting: psycho-geriatric has been fun.. despite having conversations going no where with patients, and following them wandering around corridors attempting to get information with them and following them on their journeys to land-of-dunno-where... Maybe I have yet to see their aggressive and sun-downing bit yet... Geriatrics... hmmm... the working hours do sound tempting indeed... In fact both this have fixed 9-5 working hours or even lesser! but, I'm not too sure how I myself would cope meeting old age patients everyday.. The cheerful ones will make my day like this lady I met this morning! but those who go about mourning about their pains and aches and not being able to do this and that but wanting to do it hmmmm...

Looking forward to 12 hours from now! muahhahahha...

Psalm 139

2009-08-23T22:08:00.004+01:00

A psalm that never fails to encourage at any time... And what amazes me is how it speaks in different ways each time and how a different verse may strike each time.. Yet again, it happens throughout the bible.. But anyway, here's it... A reminder for each and everyone again... And a video of it too.. :)

Psalms 139
¹ O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
² You know my sitting down and my rising up;
You understand my thought afar off.
³ You comprehend my path and my lying down,
And are acquainted with all my ways.
⁴ For there is not a word on my tongue,
But behold, O LORD, You know it altogether.
⁵ You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is high, I cannot attain it.

⁷ Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
⁸ If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
⁹ If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
¹⁰ Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.
¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness shall fall on me,”
Even the night shall be light about me;
¹² Indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You,
But the night shines as the day;
The darkness and the light are both alike to You.

¹³ For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.

¹⁷ How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!
¹⁸ If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand;
When I awake, I am still with You.

¹⁹ Oh, that You would slay the wicked, O God!
Depart from me, therefore, you bloodthirsty men.
²⁰ For they speak against You wickedly;
Your enemies take Your name in vain.
²¹ Do I not hate them, O LORD, who hate You?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
²² I hate them with perfect hatred;
I count them my enemies.

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
²⁴ And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
²⁴ And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.

Had a rested weekend, but it just never seems to be enough... Had a wonderful dinner last nite, with hand-made pizzas of all different flavours inclusive of a belacan brinjal flavour one (haha!) =) and a western version of drunken chicken...

Just booked my train tickets to London!!! (wheeeee....) to be with good company this coming Friday for 4 days, to catch up, rest and relax and above all, with a like-minded sister! Can't wait!! Not forgetting the arrival of Miss Lee T Suisse this Tuesday in Nottingham!!! A happening week ahead... but not forgetting 4 reports to hand in before I leave Notts on Friday! @.@

A Promised Covenant

2009-08-22T10:04:00.004+01:00

I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. -Genesis 9:13-

...

2009-08-19T23:27:00.002+01:00

It's just one of those days where you know there are loads of stuffs waiting to be done, yet you can't be bothered to do it... Doing anything just doesn't seem right at the moment... The can't-be-bothered feeling just doesn't seem to go away...

Thoughts just run through my head... Gone are the times where I talk endlessly, sharing my thoughts, hearing what others have to say, truly and deeply from within the heart... At times I feel i need the rest, at times I yearn for it.. What can I say... a new phase of life, new learning to be done yet should I say i don't know how... I feel at a loss in fact...

I know I'm just rambling off.. To some it makes sense, to some it seems like rubbish.. But whatever it is... it's occupying my mind, my time... That's what I need... There is an urge to go jogging to shake off all these thoughts but in the middle of the night... My resort for times like this... Not a wise choice being a girl... Would it be different running in the middle of the night being a guy? haha...

I guess.. Sleeping it off is the best thing to do now then... Goodnite... I want to look forward to a new fruitful day please...

A cold slack-y day...

2009-07-31T11:10:00.003+01:00

I went to bed early last night, 10.30!!! .... first time in ages??? hiding in the warmth of my comforter, finally catching up on reading... Managed to register with the Central Library and get a library card for free! =) Was awaken cruelly this morning by hiccups... argh!!! I just hope it doesnt come again in the middle of tutorials later... @.@

The sun is shining brightly for once this morning, and I pray that this stays on throughout the day! British weather is getting on many people nerves nowadays! One second, it is bright and sunny, and the next, it's gloomy and raining cats and dogs! And I have been caught in such situations 2 or 3 times in the last 2 days?????!!!!!! And just when i was less than 100 steps outside my house, getting my pants all soaked! blehz...

But despite the sunni-ness, my room is still chilly... My hands are cold even as I type this and even after a hot cup of coffee! Thank goodness my coffee has restrained me from going back to bed, but sadly it did not refrain me from sitting in from of me lovaleee mac, surfing through and catching up on blogs, news, videos and mainly blogs! hahahhaha... oh yeah... and reserving book from the library! Thanks to reading Sharon's blog, i got to know that the Enid Blyton series has new add-ons to the Malory Towers and St Clare's series! wheeee... ;p Yes... I still miss reading the Enid Blyton series... and it's time to catch up on it! Those are childhood memories!

The initial intention for the day was to get up early and catch up on 2 weeks of Psych need-to-know, but looking at the time now, and a tutorial at 2, it seems a little impossible... Blame it on the on-holiday consultants! ;p kidding... To go or not to go tutorial, that is the question! @.@

Saturday!!!

2009-07-26T00:27:00.004+01:00

And so... another Saturday came and went! I don't get why the week goes by creeping so slowly but not weekends... Gah... I need longer weekends!

I woke up at 8-ish and before I knew it, it was 12 noon and I was rushing back from town to get the birthday girl's present wrapped and getting all to sign it, and then there was this quaint old place in between Nottingham and Derby. That is absolutely fantabulous! 'Tis the one place that reminds me of England as seen in movies, with its cottage, having tea in those little china pots, or just like how it's described in some novels. Pictures shall be up soon I hope, for I had no camera! Tan Swee Leen if u are reading this, I've a feeling u will so like this place! hahahha... ;p

And nothing beats a good Thai dinner of reasonable price, then a surprise birthday blowing and 'smashing'! hahhahha... And that's where my story ends once again. Another Saturday gone... =( But it was an awesome one!

I am no longer a resident of Maples 6/4!!! :)

2009-07-24T18:53:00.003+01:00

Muahahha... the long anticipated day has finally came and it still is settling in... LOL... The day I get to move out of the flat and stay in a house! Don't get me wrong, I liked my previous place, having your own room and toilet to yourself, and a comfortable roller chair and a nice L-shaped study table, and all the built in cardboards... but still, there was this missing element somehow... hehehe... Lynn will be able to share thoughts on staying in a house or a home, so we call. =)

Phew... I finally get to sit down and look at my computer properly after a whole day of moving thigns from my old place to my new place... Most stuffs are in palce except for the few boxes down in the cellar that I don't plan to move till I decided whether I want this room or a bigger room! and... NO more moving for the next 2 years at least please! In my 3 years plus of studying medicine, I've shifted my things 3 times! And being who I am, my stuffs are never little! @.@ I tried minimising my stuffs this time before shifting but it somehow just adds up... Don't ask me why...

And yeah... The both of us who moved are proud to say that we used our beloved Indigo bus all the way through! No cabs, no cars, nothing but the power of a bus... lol... Despite the many irritated and annoyed stares some bus drivers gave seeing 2 yellow-skin ppl carrying not one, but 2 or 3 huge luggage case onboard and getting off at a stop less than 10 minutes away! Though there were some sweet drivers who jsut gave u a smile and wave you off with a smile too... I think some of them may have recognised me from the number of buses I take per day, and embarassingly, having them drop u off and pick u up again... I guess it must be going through in their heads, "Geez, I just saw her just now, and here she is with another huge luggage again... " And I just walk thick-skinned onboard, giving them a huge smile as if i know nothing... No more of this ppppplllllleeeeeaaaaassssseeeeee!!! I'm so gonna stay put in this house for 2 years, till I graduate (I hope!!!)!!!

The consequences of not listening properly...

2009-07-20T18:12:00.002+01:00

Dang!!! On my first day of posting, I had to get my place of meeting my consultant wrong! gah... Thank goodness I realised it in time, and called a cab to the other place... though I was 15 minutes late... @.@ Wasted another £4.50 just cos when I called up last week to ask, I was rushing through the conversation and just remembered the words RECEPTION and 9.15... :( If and only if I had listen properly... But no use crying over spilt milk... Lesson learnt, full stop.

We ( 3 students - and yeah... I am the only girl AGAIN!!! I just can't seem to avoid such situations don't I!) are based in two place. In-patients in Wells Road Centre and out-patients in Stonebridge Centre... And both are not accessible by walking... Maybe it is but it would take ages... Gosh... embarassingnya... Next thing to do is to find out whether any buses pass between this two places!!!

Met out-patients only today... Just sitting in the consultant's room, listening to patients talk and how the Consultant probes questions. A whole new thing all in all, different kind of patients, different approach, everything's different! Even history taking is nerve-wrecking for now... Let's hope the day where I can take a good or at least presentable psychiatric history come fast fast! Tomorrow will be in-patients day... lol...

I'm still so not ready for 4th year... >_<

Saturday!!!

2009-07-19T04:19:00.006+01:00

My first day of house moving... House moving started at 9-ish... With the help of Indigo... hahhaha... I made my £3.40 kangaroo pass worthwhile today! Going to and fro at least 10 times! Manage to nip some time in between the trips to go to Argos and Wilko in Beeston to check out the barbecue set... muahahhaha... Tired but the satisfaction u get when u know u did a good day's job... Yes, I finally got one from Wilkos for the bbq we were going to have at night... Not wanting to set too high an expectation, I just hope it can last for two barbecues and I will be satisfied! (2 disposable sets cost 3 pounds, and the sets cost 7 pounds, so if it lasts more than 2 times i will be wayyyy happppppyyyyyy!!!)

The day came and went like the wind... Before I knew it, it was time to barbecue!!! Pics are in Matthew's camera... yet to be put up... ;) The British way of ending a party is either by drinking or playing some games be it charade, taboo or pictionary or some other way or having both... No worries, no drinking lar that night.. Thanks to Teck Jian's ingenious idea of bringing over his friend's taboo set, we had an awesome time playing, drawing, acting using Bendy-Bob and describing! It was a way cool taboo set that had all these!

Before we knew it, it was way past 3am... Reached home at nearly 4.. Can't wait to stay in Dunkirk, cos I could just plop into bed in less than 15 minutes! And that was the end to a day! I likkkkeeee... =)

Where will you run? What will you do?

2009-07-17T07:56:00.002+01:00

Several days after a devastating earthquake in the San Francisco area, a young boy was seen rocking and swaying on the school playground. His principal asked him if he was okay, and the boy nodded yes and said, “I am moving like the earth, so if there’s another earthquake I won’t feel it.” He wanted to prepare himself for another shaking of the ground.

Sometimes after a trauma, we brace ourselves for what might be coming next. If we’ve had a phone call that brought bad news, every time the phone rings we feel panicky and wonder, What has happened now?

The “ground was shaking” for the psalmist David after King Saul tried to kill him (1 Sam. 19:10). He ran and hid. He thought death was next and told his friend Jonathan, “There is but a step between me and death” (20:3). He wrote, “The pangs of death surrounded me, and the floods of ungodliness made me afraid” (Ps. 18:4).

David cried to the Lord in his distress (v.6) and found that He was a stabilizer, One he could trust would always be with him. He said, “The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; . . . my stronghold” (v.2). The Lord will be that for us also when the ground shakes under us. — Anne Cetas

Daily Bread 17th July 09

Where will you run? What will you do? When things are going haywire, you tried giving your opinions of things, or even made the effort to brave yourself to tell someone that you disagree with them, only to be shot down?

Finally!!!! Summer Trip Part 1

2009-07-16T13:23:00.050+01:00

Day 0 - going to Birmingham!

An intro to the group! :)

These were the amount of stuffs of all of us combined. No regrets in bringing bout 10kg of food there! You will see why in a minute or so.

View of Norway from the plane...

Norway's an hour ahead of UK, so we arrived there at about 9-ish but had to take a bus all the way to Oslo, which was bout an hour and a half away... Reached Oslo bus station nearly 12 midnight... And... It was still bright!!!

I was very impressed with the taxi drivers... When we told them we wanted to get to the hostel, they said we have a choice to choose whether to walk there or take the cab as it was bout 5-10 minutes walking distance. If it were back home, the taxi drivers would have immediately gave you a price and drive you there, at times going a longer distance to make it seem far!

In our hostel room.

By the time all was settled and sorted out it was 3am in the morning and it was bright again... Imagine 3 hours of darkness only!

Day 1 - 280609 (Sunday) Touring Oslo!

A background of the hostel... Recommended! ;

The tiger outside Oslo Central Station

Karls Johan Gate

A long long street with shops all the way through...

Ibsen Museum... A house turned museum of this man who is famous for his writings... Internet gave good reviews bout it, but we did not see much..Maybe would have been better if we went for the tour of the house but we were there more to kill time there while waiting for the change of guards...

The Palace...

Change of guards...

Disappointing... Buckingham's Palace change of guard is by far the best! hahahh!

Left: Outside the Holocaust Centre Right: Viking Ship Musuem

Frammuseet (The Polar Ship Fram)

The world's strongest wooden ship, and the one that has sailed the furthest to the North and South apparently.

Vigeland Park

A park with 'artistic' sculptures by this guy Vigeland...

Akershus Slott (Castle)

Day 2 - 290609 (Monday) Jotunheimen National Park!!!

The pictures say it all!!! And these were pictures taken on the way there in the bus!!!

A prelude to our camp site... (*drum rolls*)

Tada!!! Our home for 4 days!

yodgamma is the name for it we were told.. no idea how to spell though, so I'm just using my childhood days phonetics to pronounce it... yod - earth/mud; gamma - hut = earth/mud hut!

the interior of it... made of wood!

and the food we brought all the way from UK..

Well... at least 70% were... =) Chong Ngie's brother told him that Norway is very expensive just days before we left, so the day before, we decided to pack some food there... some = 10 kg worth of food! bread, pasta, baked beans, instant noodles... hahhahah... And no... there was no regrets! First and foremost, it was so hard finding a supermarket around the city... Only after asking our hostel reception, did we know where it was, despite it being very near where we stayed, we were still clueless nonetheless! Anyway, secondly, it was super duper expensive! So we only bought the 'fresh' stuffs... Funny though that marinated meat was much much cheaper than fresh meat... i wonder why... And al thanks to McD we had seasoning for out food! LOL...

Day 3- 300609 (Tuesday) Lom with it's most famous bakery in Norway

Norwegian Mountain Museum

Lom's (or Norway, so we were told) famous bakery... Pretty right the girl? hahhha... too bad, I'm not a pastry sort of person, so I'm in no position to comment on the breads and pastries eaten... It does taste better than those cheap breads u get from supermarkets, but besides that full stop. hahahhah...

Lom Stave Church

Somehow, it just reminds me of Thailand or rather Balinese style feel...

On the way to the mineral musuem, we had to cross this bridge.. And i likkkkeeee the water sceneries and all!!!

Fossheim Mineral Musuem

Trying a hand at fishing. The water was so fast, macam mana catch fish?

Our barbecue pit!

Coolest bbq ever!

The guys competing to see who could stand the coldness of the water!

Record was less than 10 seconds i think! While they were doing that, we decided to show how healthy we are by eating apples. An apple a day keeps the doctor away! haha!

Chong Ngie on fire! lol...

Our yodgamma feeling all cosy and warm with a fire inside... :)

Day 4 - 010709 (Wednesday) Hiking!

A rainbow being formed in the middle of the field from water spraying and sun splitting light into its various colours... Primary school science being seen again!

The start of the hike...

Sceneries all the way up...

Reminds me of the movie Sound of Music... The hills are alive with the sound of music... lalalalalalalalalala....

At the 'top'!

Feeling on top of the world! There was no top... It could have gone on and on, hills and mountains over and over again... But it was a worthwhile hike!

Moose shit

One of the guide jokingly told us that you only get to see a moose when you are drunk, cos apparently for him, the 3 times he saw the moose was when he was drunk. Well, we were the lucky ones, to not need alcohol yet be able to see one! hahahha...

Ice in the middle of the mountain... talk bout sheer coolness!

Dinner! M'sian Curry!

Modified with adding of sausages (Oslo's sausages are yummy!!! and big too!!) cos chicken is too expensive there! it converts to bout 14 pounds for one fresh (didn't really look fresh though!) whole chicken! So we bought cooked marinated chicken and sausages! hahhah...

Day 5 - 020709 (Thursday) Rapelling and Canyoning!!!

Our cabins...

Walking to the cliff where we rappel down to the canyoning place...

One of the 3 guides for the day...

cos we had no waterproof camera (who wants to give me one??? :) ), HL decided to take a picture of this from the base as a proof of where we went... ;p

A day of many first-times... first time using a harness, rapelling off a ~40metres cliff... jumping from a waterfall... climbing through a waterfall... sliding down a canyon... walking in freezing cold water (thank goodness for our suits that kept us neutrally warm!)...

Day 6 - 030709 (Friday) Water Rafting!

As our rafting was in the afternoon, we decided to laze around in the morning.

A slack-y afternoon while killing time to go water rafting...

Left: posing with the floats they use for hydrospeeding... looks cool; Middle: With our good-looking guide ;p; Right: Out of boredom while waiting to get back to the campsite...

The picture of us rafting is still with a Danish chick... Am still waiting for her email... =(

Around the rivers of Skjak... Going through Ooforsen... (How the name came about: Oo - the person who discovered it was so amazed at finding the rapids... forsen - rapids: hence the name Oo-for-sen!)

Rafting terms we learnt: All forward - everyone rows forward; All back - evryone rows backwards; All in - everyone gets into the middle of the raft; Right back - Those sitting at the right rows backwards while those on the left rows forward.

Did you know that:
the T-shape part of the paddle causes more injury than anything else while rafting...
if you were to drop into the water while rafting, keep afloat with your legs up... cos if ur legs are down, the rocks may cut you....

Our last night...

Day 7 - 040709 (Saturday) What an end to Oslo!

This was at 4.15am in the morning...

We waited for the supposed 5.30am bus...

and waited...

And still no bus came... Hour by hour... And the bus company only opened at half past 7 or 8... No way of knowing where to go and what to do... Finally, when we got through, we were told that the bus only reaches our place at 11.30! @.@ It takes 6 hours to reach Oslo, and our cruise was leaving at 5! And the only way to get back to Oslo in time for the cruise was to get a train from the nearest town. Impossible task! Our best plan was to go back to our campsite and ask whether they could give us a lift to the nearest town. Who knows, we got scolded for invading their property early in the morning and were asked to leave the site... @.@ With no choice left, the only way was to hitch-hike. I learnt the universal hitch-hiking sign! But to no avail... Apparently the first car they tried to flag down, the driver showed a middle finger... !@£$%^&* But if we were in the driver's position, i guess none of us would have stopped as well. Especially when the mind goes wild, thinking that ppl have ulterior motives, would we stop our car? nah... But after much prayer, out of no where a bus with the sign Otta arrived around late 9-ish... talk bout divine intervention! =)

On the bus...

And when asked, the kind driver mentioned that the bus will just reach in time to catch the train to Oslo!!! No words could describe the emotions that went through us! Bless him!

The train station... And to cross over to the other platform, there are stairs on the rail...

To be continued...

Even though it's just the beginning of the week...

2009-07-14T23:17:00.006+01:00

Randomness! Me likeeee!!! hahhahha... Out of the blue, thanks to someone's suggestion, we decided to cook together and also last minutely, a celebration for the final confirmation that we are officially 4th year students! Prior to this, most dare not say that we are fourth year students, clinging on to the results of CP1, the killer exam. And praise God, we all made it through!!! We can finally say, Good morning, my name is ____, I'm a fourth year student!!!! lalalalalala....

With teamwork, we managed to get 4 dishes done in an hour plus time, and finished it all in less than an hour! And Cheng and I had a try at making tiramisu! hahhaha... We'll know the results tomorrow. Over-ambitiousness of wanting to prepare it before dinner turned out impossible, so we could onli make it after dinner. Finally, I have teman... Doing alone, tak syok lar...

Our tiramisu!!!!

That was today...

And yesterday, we went for dinner at Chiquitos... Mexican food... Not bad I should say... And me watching Harry Potter premieres on Wednesday, few hours earlier than it's premiere in Malaysia!!! hahhaha... And... my first movie in UK!!! =)

Yet to find time to post bout my trip, though we did glance through the pictures we took and had a good laugh...

While at the bus stop last night waiting for a bus to get back, suddenly, a splash of water came my way and noticing a car driving past. Took me a while to gather my sense, only to realise it was warm. I thought the car drove over a puddle of water, to be told by Teck Jian that the road was dry. A smell of it and I was disgusted... It smelled like urine!!!!! Crap... Teck Jian said I'd most probably got 80% f the splash while he got 20%. Lesson learnt: NEVER STAND BY THE ROAD SIDE EVEN IF YOU ARE WAITING FOR A BUS! I wonder which idiot thought it fun to play a prank on others... Was controlling myself from cursing.. Another first time? lol...

Back!!!

2009-07-12T20:50:00.002+01:00

Yessssss!!!!! Finally back in good ol' Notts! The moment I stepped down on UK soil, for once, I felt like it was home. Travelling is fun, but after a near 2 weeks of hype, excitement, adventures, loads of first-time experience (will blog bout it soon! *i hope*), the body starts getting weary. Thank goodness, it has all been pretty slack and relaxing, so not as tired as expected, but... classes start tomorrow! And my first intro is at 9 in a building somewhere in the campus that I've no idea of its whereabouts???!!!!

Clothes yet to be washed, consultants, secretaries, SpRs and what-not to contact, timetables to be arranged.. @.@ I kinda dread it... All notices came up in the 2 weeks I was away and now, trying to read and find all the notices that has been put up. Everything's so disorganised that it's hard to find all relevant info... Macam mana?

A short summary of the 2 weeks:

Norway's weather was hot but nice!
Oslo was so so so so awesome!!! 24 hours of daylight!
Hitch-hiking experience was a first-timer!
Cruise was not too bad!
Denmark was alright.. Never drink on an empty stomach!
Amsterdam was unique!
London = eat! hahhaha...
Lion King Musical = AWESOME!!!!
Hillsong London: reminds me of ECF and the passion I had that seems to need relighting again!

Will blog bout this in days to come... When things are more settled down... =)

Norway!!!

2009-06-28T23:46:00.002+01:00

The intention to blog before going off for hols din seem possible. Am currently blogging using a friend's phone. I should consider getting a phone that enables me with internet! Whee...

Jotunheimen Park tomorrow! 5 days in the wilderness! :)

I Can't Help But...

2009-06-24T09:14:00.006+01:00

Drift off somewhere and thinking of the things I will be doing next week this time...
Write down the things that I need to pack for the trip! I just have to keep refraining myself from packing it...
Research on buying a new sports shoes...
Deciding whether to buy a backpack...
Blog-hop!!! gosh... it's sooooo addictive...
Clear my table of all my notes...
Clear my drawers, preparing for house-moving!
Check out songs on youtube!
Re-watching and re-watching drama series in between breaks... I can rmbr which scene is where! lol...
Chat as if there's no more exam..
Jump around here and there...
Talk rubbish with ppl over the net indicating my aderaline?-or-endorphins?-or-just-sheer-exam-stress-caused highness...
Walking to the kitchen to see if anyone's playing badminton or lying on the grass...
Thinking of ways to clear off my food in the fridge! It's nearly cleared! hahhahha...
Looking at recipes online...
Checking my emails now and then hoping to receive emails to reply to...
Giving my stethoscope a good clean.. Gosh, u'll be surprised at the amount of dust that can be collected at all nook and crannies!

As you can see, the list goes on and on... all these but study! 2 papers down... Leaving OSLER for tmr, which in fact, no one has much of a clue of how to prepare... I foresee many medical students barging into wards throughout QMC today and a long queue of students waiting to present cases to the doctors, hence the decision to stay home and read Browse's Introduction to The Symptoms and Signs of Surgical Disease... Great... What bout medical diseases then? I feel more competent in a surgical history then listening for heart murmurs, decreased breath sounds, bronchial breathing, crackles and all other medical stuffs... This is what 7 weeks of surgical posting does to you... All 7 weeks of medical competence skill gradually seeping out of the brain (vapourised?) into thin air!

I guess it's back to reading then... Here's to a productive morning hopefully! =) I just realised this is the 99th post... Should I have a big hoo-ha for the 100th post? hahah... I foresee less blogging, or maybe more (if I get cooped up at home before flying off on Saturday! whhhheee...)! We'll see.... lalalalalalalalalala

Drained....

2009-06-22T14:19:00.004+01:00

One word for today's paper: DRAINING... I don't know some questions were meant to be tricky or just straightforward? I keep asking myself, am I thinking too much or too alert? lol...

A large dose of ECGs, LFTs, TFTs and ABGs that crushed my initial hopes that I knew these darlings well! Crushed hopes... sigh... @.@ Thank goodness, i was not pulling my hairs out though... (as i told someone i might!) hahhha!

Neway, I've done my bit... Leaving it the rest to YOU!!!

O therapeutics, let's hope you treat us well tomorrow! 1 down, 2 to go... 3 days to MERDEKA!!!!!

In Awe I Stand...

2009-06-21T15:03:00.003+01:00

Had a wonderful quiet walk to church today alone... All the church kakis have either gone on hols somewhere or gone home... A time of reflecting and being amazed at how things have come about and changed ever since secondary school till today! Who I was then to who I am today...

As I sat in church, and reflected on the past week, I was even more in awe of Him! The past week has been so amazing. To the extent that when i think of it, I get goosebumps and butterflies in my stomach, not out of fear but out of awe of Him. I've been so at peace throughout the whole week, just what I needed, cos I do not work well under stress! In fact, I did not even depend on a single cup of coffee to keep me awake... I could just study at the pace that was just right and stayed awake till the right time to sleep, and wake up not tired, but refreshed for the day!

The previous week, I know that I was a total wreck. The signs of 'depression' as Lynn would call it... Sleeping at 8pm, waking up at earthly hours, study and sleep, and having to drag myself out of bed. Cups and cups of coffee I downed, at time with futile attempts to keep wide awake.

His mercy and grace, I came to understand as I stood in church. The discernment of the Holy Spirit and truly depending on Him, leaning upon Him.

This song truly speaks out what's within me!

In my mail...

2009-06-20T08:37:00.003+01:00

神有正面答案 /God has a positive answer

在一場船難中，唯一的生存者隨著潮水，
漂流到了一座無人島上。
The only survivor of a shipwreck
was washed up on a small, uninhabited island.

他天天激動地祈禱神救他能夠早日離開此處，回到家鄉。
他還每天注視著海上有否可搭救他的人，
但卻是除了汪洋一片，什麼也沒有。
He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him,
and every day he scanned the horizon for help,
but none seemed forthcoming.

後來，他決定用那片帶他到小島的木頭造一個簡陋的小木屋
以保護他在這險惡的環境中生存，並且保存他所有剩下的東西。
Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut
out of driftwood to protect him from the elements,
and to store his few possessions.

但有一天，在他捕完食物後，準備回小屋時，
突然發現他的小屋竟然陷在熊熊烈火之中，
大火引起的濃煙不斷向天上竄。
But then one day, after scavenging for food,
he arrived home to find his little hut in flames,
the smoke rolling up to the sky.

最悲慘的是：他所有的一切東西，在這一瞬間，
通通化為烏有了。悲痛的他，氣憤的對天吶喊著：
「神啊！你怎么可以這樣對待我！」
頓時，眼淚從他的眼角中流出。
The worst had happened; everything was lost.
He was stunned with grief and anger.
"God, how could you do this to me!" he cried.

第二天一早，他被一艘正靠近小島的船隻的鳴笛聲所吵醒。
是的，有人來救他了。
Early the next day, however, he was awakened
by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island.
It had come to rescue him.

到了船上時，他問那些船員說：「你怎麼知道我在這裡？」
"How did you know I was here?"
asked the weary man of his rescuers.

「因為我們看到了信號般的濃煙。」他們回答說。
"We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

人在碰到困難時，很容易會沮喪。
不過，無論受到折磨或者痛苦，都不用因此失去信心，
因為神一直在我們心裡面做著奇妙的工作。
It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad.
But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives,
even in the midst of pain and suffering.

記著：當下一次你的小木屋著火時，
那可能只是神美妙恩典的表徵而已。
Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground
it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.

在所有我們所認為負面的事情，神都是有正面答案的。
For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves,
God has a positive answer.

你說：「我累了。」
神說：「我讓你休息。」(太11:28-30)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)

你說：「沒有人愛我。」
神說：「我愛你。」 (約 3:16 & 約 3:34)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34)

你說：「我做不下去了。」
神說：「我的恩典夠你支持下去。」
(林後 12:9 & 詩 91:15)
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

你說：「我想不通。」
神說：「我引領你前行。」(箴 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)

你說：「我做不到。」
神說：「你什麼都做得到。」(腓 4:13)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)

你說：「我不配。」
神說：「你配。」 (林後 9:8)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)

你說：「這麼做不值得。」
神說：「做了，你馬上就會覺得值得了。」 (羅 8:28)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28)

你說：「我無法原諒自己。」
神說：「我原諒你。」 (約壹 1:9 & 羅 8:1)
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

你說：「我是窮苦的。」
神說：「我供應你一切所需。」 ( 腓 4:19)
You say: "I'm poor"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)

你說：「我害怕。」
神說：「我所賜給你的不是膽怯的心。」 (提後 1:7)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)

你說：「我常常在擔憂、受挫。」
神說：「放下你的重擔，我為你承擔。」 ( 彼後 5:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)

A Weekly Routine...

2009-06-19T21:11:00.004+01:00

Somehow, while in the kitchen, i just had a random thought and told my housemate Sumi, "I have a feeling that the fire alarm will go off later."

And....

I was RIGHTO!!!!

Without fail, for the past few weeks, the fire alarm goes off at least once a week. Thank goodness, once a week is more than enough! There was one, just last week or was it last last week(?) where the alarm went off at 2-ish AM, nearing 3AM!!!! Mind you, a time where most probably everyone were either in bed fast asleep or about to drop off to wonderland. How does the alarm thing work? Apparently, once kitchen doors are left open, while someone is cooking and cooks up a lot of smoke, there the annoying noise starts sounding! And we've been wondering long enough how in the world can ppl cook up a huge amount of smoke to cause the alarm to ring! Maybe we should give it a try after exams.. This thought has been in our heads for quite some time... ;p

Tis the highlight for the day! Studies, I commit myself to thee once again! =.=

This time next week, I pray that I will be a happy bird satisfied with my OSLER results! Lord, I want to glorify your name!

Time o time... where have thou gone????

2009-06-18T19:14:00.005+01:00

Gosh... I really really wondered where in the world has time flown???? I reached home bout 2-ish after knowing Therapeutics was cancelled... (not good, cos it means i have to go to uni earlier than expected tomorrow for the replacement... argh!!!) then to check my mailbox to see a Parcelforce letter there... I don't get it!!! Why can't my parcels be sent to my door and I alwyas end up having to walk to the post office to collect it???? -.-

Finally, my sleeping bag has arrived... yay!!! that means I'm ready for the Norway trip with my 20 by 16cm 800g sleeping bag! hahahha... ;p

Came home to cook up some lunch... first time in days i cooked something... Maybe it was the exam stress acting up, i just couldn't be bothered to cook or eat a proper meal at times... Just hearing the acid churning within my stomach that could reach its way to my ears, yet not feeling hungry, made me wonder whether I had Zollinger-Ellison Syndrome, but not having any gastric pain, differential diagnosis was ruled out... I just fancy the name! hahhaha...

And by the time I sat down to eat, it was 3-ish nearly four... Minesweeper, emails and what not, and a I-wonder-how-long-nap on my table, it was 5! Then some chatting and eating my defrosted profiteroles and sitting in front of the computer blog-hopping, it's now 7.24pm! What the... I realised I haven't said this phrase for ages and ages now!

To studies it is then! Woohooo!!! Finally I can say this:

This time next week, I'll be done with exams and praying hard that I will not receive an email on Friday morning asking me to go for a feedback!

Last lap of the race to run... I want to finish this well!

First Thunderstorm

2009-06-15T18:55:00.003+01:00

This is the first thunderstorm I've heard since coming here... Being in my warm room, with it's yellow light... The bed is luring me to it... Fighting the temptation to jump into bed and tuck myself under the my comforter!

For once, I feel protected and warm at home... Finally, I'm calling this home! hahahha... I am reminded that despite what thunderstorm may come, He is my Jehovah Rohi, my shepherd. =)

Now I See, Now I Don't

2009-06-15T10:47:00.004+01:00

Gosh... Just yesterday and the day before, it was ever so sunny, and so blinding that I can't look out of my window without wincing my eyes... And today, after a about 3 hours of bright sunny sunshine, I hear droplets pattering on my window. @.@ Macam playing peek-a-boo... Now i see, now i don't...

Not now, when my umbrella decided to backfire on me... I just don't seem to pally well with umbrella. I've only used it less than 2 times since i came, and the last time i used it, i realised it was malfunctioning. argh!

I should consider walking in the rain later to hospital... I don't mind walking in the rain so long as my shoes don't get wet, which seems impossible, especially when you gotta wear flats and water just got splitter splatter on it ever more so easily! gah...

Ooooh... It has stopped raining again... drizzling more like it. BBC weather forecast says its gonna rain whole day. heavy rain in fact! especially at the time I'm suppose to go out... @.@ But oh well, thank goodness wind speed will be less than 5mph! ;p

I was just bored from studying so decided to 'rest'. Back to studies again...

Thank you God for your people who just drop timely messages! Ladybug, thank u! *hugs*

Videos That Encourage Me!

2009-06-14T18:28:00.002+01:00

Though i walk upon ground
That is rugged and uneven
Your faithful hand won't lead me astray
Through the rain and the clouds,
Where the sun is barely shining
Your grace surrounds my life everyday
Everyday

You reign
Yesterday today forevermore, forevermore
You reign in every circumstance
You are good, You are good

And You hold in Your hands
Every star, the sun and moon
Yet those hands are marred
And wounded from nails.
Precious blood at the cross
Was poured out for the nations
And this love that drove salvation never fails
Your love never fails

You rule the world
You rule the world, You reign
You are the name above all names
The King above all kings, You reign

Faithful One so unchanging
Ageless One You’re my rock of peace
Lord of all I depend on You
I call out to You, again and again
I call out to You, again and again

You are my rock in times of trouble
You lift me up when I fall down
All through the storm
Your love is the anchor
My hope is in You alone

Trust...

2009-06-14T18:01:00.003+01:00

I was debating whether to go or not to leave my room this morning... The debate started deep in me since last night even before i slept and even in the middle of night, when i woke up, my thoughts were still battling themselves out... I still remember how I used to say back home where God is placed highest and I will not let it come in the way between studies and all, even if it requires a sacrifice like skipping supper or fellowship time afterwards, church I will still go. Yet here I was, having to battle such thoughts.

Can't remember what was it that made me decide to go this morning but there were no regrets! After singing two songs, pastor's wife went up and said, " Today's theme is about Trusting in God." I looked at Jennifer and she looked at me, and we smiled. After all, while we were walking to church, we were just talking about how worried we were with this and that... Swine flu? Exams results? Yada yada...

And she shared from 1 Kings 17:

Elijah Fed by Ravens

1 Now Elijah the Tishbite, from Tishbe [a] in Gilead, said to Ahab, "As the LORD, the God of Israel, lives, whom I serve, there will be neither dew nor rain in the next few years except at my word."
2 Then the word of the LORD came to Elijah: 3 "Leave here, turn eastward and hide in the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan. 4 You will drink from the brook, and I have ordered the ravens to feed you there."

5 So he did what the LORD had told him. He went to the Kerith Ravine, east of the Jordan, and stayed there. 6 The ravens brought him bread and meat in the morning and bread and meat in the evening, and he drank from the brook.

The Widow at Zarephath

7 Some time later the brook dried up because there had been no rain in the land. 8 Then the word of the LORD came to him: 9 "Go at once to Zarephath of Sidon and stay there. I have commanded a widow in that place to supply you with food." 10 So he went to Zarephath. When he came to the town gate, a widow was there gathering sticks. He called to her and asked, "Would you bring me a little water in a jar so I may have a drink?" 11 As she was going to get it, he called, "And bring me, please, a piece of bread."
12 "As surely as the LORD your God lives," she replied, "I don't have any bread—only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug. I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it—and die."

13 Elijah said to her, "Don't be afraid. Go home and do as you have said. But first make a small cake of bread for me from what you have and bring it to me, and then make something for yourself and your son. 14 For this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says: 'The jar of flour will not be used up and the jug of oil will not run dry until the day the LORD gives rain on the land.' "

15 She went away and did as Elijah had told her. So there was food every day for Elijah and for the woman and her family. 16 For the jar of flour was not used up and the jug of oil did not run dry, in keeping with the word of the LORD spoken by Elijah.

In summary, Elijah trusted in God and he provided despite all circumstances...

And that was just the beginning...

Today's sermon was from Matthew 6:25-34, the ever familiar verses of DO NOT WORRY... ;p

Did you know the word worry comes from the old English word wyrgan, which means to choke or strangle. Ain't it so true? If we were all to think back, how far has worry brought us? Instead, for me, I know it has brought on countless times of sleepless nights, fear, disturbing thoughts, hyperacidic stomach (!!!) and the list can go on...

One thing that pastor shared that when he referred back to another story from the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6: 44 where it writes, "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

Have we seen in another way that when we worry, we are serving to masters as well. Worry and God. God is indeed very much aware of the harsh reality of life. And when the bible was written, and when Jesus shared these verses with the crowd in the first century, they were much closer to harsher earthly reality!

Colossians 3:2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Vacuum cleaner and I

2009-06-13T09:34:00.003+01:00

2 times in 2 weeks! I am annoyed, no, amused would be more the word I guess... First, my nail clipper got sucked into the vacuum, cos my hands were itchy to try clean the table of dust and decising to try using the vacuum cleaner to see whether it can reduce my workload. Today is my stockings, stocking to be specific! gah... It was so far away, but just one slight move near it, and a little move along the tube, then counting my to-be-washed stockings, I realised one was missing! sheesh... The only way to retrieve any items within the vacuum bag would be to slit a hole inside it... Don't think I'll do it, for fear of being charged! hahahha... Oh well, maybe it's good cos one side of another pair mysteriously got lost few months back... No idea how... Slipped through the minute holes of the sink while I was washing it? Someone coming into my room and taking it away? hahahha... so now it makes it equal again! hahahha...

On another note, I realised I blog more nearing exams time... LOL... wonder why... I managed to wake up early today ard 8-ish, not feeling lethargic but excited to start the day... i like this feeling, please let it continue till 25th!!! And, no I don't want to receive an email on the 26th asking me to go back for feedback! I want to go Birmingham in peace to start my 2 weeks hols! lalallallala.... while I know some poor sem 3s back home are preparing and mugging furiously for their EOS! U guys are still in my prayers k! *hugs*

I still have no idea why He chose Notts for me... Coming here immediately, oh well, bout 2 weeks after exams, then starting induction and clinicals, then a 2 weeks break, then hopefully year 4, all the way through, with bout 10 days break during Christmas, then all the way through till Year 4 finals, then 1 month break.. Then year 5 and in 9 - 10 months time, final finals!! then electives then graudation! Oh well, no complains, and as one doc said, preparing for the reality ahead! @.@ I'll most probably be starting my Year 4 with Health Care of the Elderly and Psychiatry! Better keep my expectations to the minimum and see how things turn around! =) Follow by Special Study Modules - I got Female Cancers and will be based in City Hosp., my first choice, and good cos I need not travel far! hahhaha... Did you know, Nottingham is known for their research in Breast Cancer and the Nottingham Prognostic Index was done by them! And the best thing (*grins*) is... I won't be assessed on this module! lalalalla...

Me not get it... The cooking time for half-boiled eggs varies here... In winter, to have a just nice liquidy yet not raw half-boiled eggs takes 10-12 mins... Then other times, it varies from 7-9 mins... @.@ sometimes 7 been insufficient, 8 being to hard, in the middle varying too! Ish... A half-boiled egg cooker would be nice, cos it'll just drain off the water and no need for me to use the timer! hahaha...

The sun's shining brightly into my room now, through my 'attic window' and my faithful Mac just told me it's 10! Breakfast done, vacuuming done, studies it is then... The randomest blog I've blogged since dunno when, but it was fun! hahhaha... More to come hopefully!

Those who wanna pray for me can pray for:

proper concentration in studies, to excel
my future house, that I can move in once I move out of my current place, with no glitch
my hols with friends after this 2 weeks, that it'll be a good time of fellowship and bonding
to pass my exams with flying colours!

A Letter to Me!

2009-06-06T10:10:00.002+01:00

Timothy, my dear son, be strong through the grace that God gives you in Christ Jesus. You have heard me teach things that have been confirmed by many reliable witnesses. Now teach these truths to other trustworthy people who will be able to pass them on to others.

Endure suffering along with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. Soldiers don’t get tied up in the affairs of civilian life, for then they cannot please the officer who enlisted them.

This was a letter from Paul to Timothy (2 Timothy 2:1-4) , but as I read it today, I realised it was meant for me too! =)

When I read it, these points just hit me:

I am His soldier
A soldier wears the whole set of armour: belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, feet shod of peace, shield of faith, helmet of salvation, sword of the spirit.
He says: Be STRONG! How? Through His GRACE
Fear - Eversince I stepped foot here, I have been fearing loads without realising it: fearing that I can't cope, fearing loneliness, fearing not having friends, fearing backstabbing, at times, fearing to go for teachings, fearing to voice out things I know or my opinions etc...

These fears have 'shaped' me to be a quiet person, who talks little and have little to say amongst others. I hold back on things to say, hold back on my thoughts and so on. Then, when I prayed and finally admitted all these fears, a voice within me said, "But, you still have me, am Inot great enough?"

Yeah, I believe there is one God, who is Almighty and Everlasting, and in Him there is no fear. But humans being fallen creatures, knowing is one things, applying what you know is another, Life is all bout a life-long learning process. I'm learning once again and prayed that He may continue working in my heart and spirit, and just like a baby, I'm walking baby steps. :)

Again and again!!!

2009-06-03T10:59:00.004+01:00

I just realised that it has been a while since I last blogged! Hahah... Since April even before my Paris trip... Oh well, facebook does the job of updating with pictures speaking more than words!

Without realising it, I've been here in Notts for nearly 4.5 months, and exams are coming up in 20 days time! Wait, that was yesterday, today it's 19! arghhhh...

I shall not dwell upon the miseries of exams as I believe everyone goes through that no matter how much is said or done.

I went to sleep last night with a so heavy heart, seeing the list of things to study and having it replay in my mind just before I sleep just doesn't help. For a easy sleeper like me, who can just sleep once my head touches the pillow, I couldn't, can't remember the last time I found it hard to fall asleep!

All I could do was to pray, for peace, against the attack of the evil one. I dreaded this morning, not wanting to wake up at all! And i woke up thinking of atrial myxoma? I literally jumped out of bed, feeling palpitations... :( I forced myself to the table, did my quiet time, tried praying but found no words, just asking for his peace. Then I remembered a friend telling me when things get busy and you're not able to find time for prayer or are lost for words, meditate upon a song that speaks to you.

This has been the song that I've been listening to every morning for the past one week, or maybe it was two!

Unless He builds this house, I'm building it in vain. Those were the words I meditated upon. These are times where His words of affirmation are applied in terms of faith and trust, having to persevere and hold on to things unseen.

And just suddenly, this verse popped into my head again:

Do Not Worry

25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?
28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Again and again we quote this verse from time to time, but the true meaning of it, always slips out of the mind when it's needed most, only to realise later, how true these verses mean, promising to hold on to these verses, yet repeating the mistake again and again. Such irony indeed.

But, it comes to show still the Everlasting, Ever Faithful God whom all can choose to follow, who never gives up, who continues showering love and blessing upon his children never fails at all! :)

AMU

2009-04-08T08:32:00.005+01:00

= Acute Medicine Unit

In our Medicine rotation, each person is allocated a week where u get out of your normal firm activities and go to the Acute Medicine Unit and have a go being a real doctor, being the first clerking patients, if possible come out with differential diagnosis and treatment plans for patients... Of course the main aim is focussing on the initial one than the latter two. And if you get a registrar of consultant, they can use your clerked notes and have it in the patient's file! Basically, the whole point is for you to clerk as many patients as you can!

On one night in the week, you get to stay till 10pm to see how things are and also you get to do one weekend. I got to do my "night shift" last night. As quoting a friend, "what we take to do in half to three quarters of an hour, the SHOs or registrars get it done in 10 minutes or less... "Amusing and frustrating at the same time. Amused at how "slow" we can be, and frustrating cos we still don't get as much information as they do to come up with differential diagnosis but we come up with lots other information which may not be all that necessary. Newbie! lol...

But cos of Easter coming up, we get one day less and will not be "working" this weekend. Mine will be in May... But there's one thing that I'm looking forward to! PARIS!!!! wwwwhhhhheeee... we're going this friday! lalallallalala....

Versailles...

Jardin du Luxembourg

The long heard Eiffel Tower!

And many many more!!!! =) Time to get ready for class!

An Interesting Conversation

2009-04-01T19:40:00.006+01:00

Indeed, when things are committed unto His hands, somehow the day just goes differently, in a good way of course. I woke up having this heavy burden of deadlines for presentation, essay, reading up for classes and what not. I kinda dread days where I wake up so. I decided to just stay home instead of going to clinics for the morning to get myself quieten down and reading up.

Today's Quiet Time from The Daily Bread talked bout servant-friendship. Check it out. This last sentence caught me. In our service for the Lord, do we share not just our words or money but our time and friendship? Questions went through my head... Service? What service am I doing now? Friendship means lots to me definitely. But what bout it? Who am I of service to at the moment? Suddenly, just like how a light bulb lights up *ding*, in a way, I am of service to people whom I meet daily. Patients, doctors, friends alike.

Yesterday, while trying to take a history from a patient, I know I did it very badly, as in my history was going no where... I just let the patient talked on and on bout life, bout things going on and what not. When I was about to present to the doctor only I realised what a bad piece of work it was gonna be. Braving it, presenting what rubbish I had, and having listened to her advice and words of encouragement (doctors here are super duper nice, no matter how badly you do, they still find ways to praise and encourage you.), I was left with mixed feelings.

As I reflected, I forgot for a moment while with the patient that he could be a friend, and all i see him as was THE PATIENT. Trying to come up with what's wrong with him, how to report my findings and all. There was rapport, but besides that, full stop. Of course, then comes the part where you have empathy and all, but that's another thing altogether. What difference can we make as Christian doctors?

As I was walking back from hospital, I met this man and lady who started by asking me a question, "Can you speak Chinese?" Of course my reply was yes. Then they started a conversation of where I was from, what I am studying and all. And she tried speaking Mandarin and Malay to me. Then, the girl asked, "Do you know of this guy that is able to heal and is by far better than the doctors and nurses?" Then she took out her bible. "We're Jehovah Witnesses and we believe in this God who is our Jehovah." Then, I told her I am a Christian as well. And we continued on bout church and how different is it from back home and all.

Then the guy who had been quiet all these while except with a couple of nods and agreement, spoke up. "So, since you are a Christian, do you believe that there will come a time where God will come again?" "Yeah," I replied. "When do you think He'll come?" he asked again. "I don't know, but I guess while waiting for his coming, we can do our part in sharing the good news with others." He agreed. "Then, since you gonna be a doctor in the future, how do you feel knowing that there may come a time where there will be no pain and suffering and you may not have your job when He comes?" "Won't that be great news? Cos then it means we get to be together with God." I asked him when does He think the time will be coming and his reply was Soon.

He led me to these verses in the bible.

2 Timothy 3: 1But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God—

And he added that sadly less than 10% of British population reads the bible. I don't know whether this is true but if it is so, it is indeed quite sad ain't it. We talked on for a while and they gave out pamphlets on an upcoming event for Good Friday where they are having a talk and come together for a service of remembering Christ dying on the cross, but the lady said that they do not eat bread. I asked why and she said it will be explained on that day.

But above all, the thing that striked me the most was this: this lady, has learn Mandarin for 5 years so that she is able to reach out to the Chinese nationals here. She even brings around a Chinese bible. I won't be surprised by the many rejections she could have faced throughout the times she has been trying to share but yet she still continues. I see a lady who goes all way out to go share with others what she believes in. I am not here to say whether her religion is right or wrong as that would be a whole different topic itself, but their passion to reach out and share is something I believe we all who call ourselves Christians should be doing. And the guy was mentioning, if all people were to see and think like-mindedly won't the world be a different place all together?

An interesting conversation it was today leaving me with some questions and thoughts to ponder which I still find hard to articulate into words... Another time it will be...

On a lighter note, went for a supposedly Grand Round today, but it was a talk on MRCP and how the exam was and all... Apparently they're revising the format now... After analysis for many years, on comparison, non-UK grads don't score well for MRCP. 20-35% passing percentage onli! =( Whereas UK grads have around 65-80% passing rate... Reason being, language barrier and different culture. UK grads score lowest especially in history taking and communication skills station. :(

M-A-N-C-H-E-S-T-E-R

2009-03-28T22:18:00.004Z

As part of my bday, and not wanting to stay in Nottingham an "emo" LOL!, we decided to go out... Hai... not having IMU gangs here yet, hard to decide where to go... So after days and days of deciding, we finally decided to go Manchester again... haahhaha... Oh well, the sole reason would be none other than FOOD!!! yumz... what to do? No good dim sum neither is there any good proper chinese food that is worth the money...

Cos we were told that there's 50% discount from 3 -5, we decided to plan our trip revolving around that time... (Note: there was no difference actually! @.@) Since, we'd roughly been around and about Manchester the first time we went, we decided to go Old Trafford while killing time... hahaha... No need to ask how was it, cos the onli place i got to was the merchandise store... hahahha.... No Man U fans among the guys and food being the priority, that was all we did for that two hours or so... And talking bout a small world, who else none other then fellow IMU-ians we met there... Yau, Chee Mei, Fish and Han Ying from M106 and M205 were there... A super super senior once said, the good thing bout IMU is that it creates links for us whereever we go.. I second that!

One thing, Manchester buses are not on time!!! NO NO NO! And seeing the weather forecast for today, raining and wind speed from 10mph onwards, brrr... it was not the time to be out in the cold waiting for bus!

But, no complaints, cos we got food to look forward to, and a meet up with a certain someone who's birthday falls on today as well. And a catch up over the phone with the apek in Seremban! hahhaha... A good weekend it was! Waiting for pics from all sources! ;p

Dim Sum!!!

小笼包

That must go along with this!

Matthew trying to show that he's savouring the dumpling!

Pearl Milk Tea

Of Tarts and Tea

Egg Tarts... but still nothing beats the one in Sri Petaling!

When you're in Manchester and you've nothing better to do! ;p

Day-light saving starts at 1a.m.... Can never get hold of the concept of it still...@.@

The Gift

2009-03-28T00:21:00.008Z

I never could understand at the age of 17, when a friend sincerely said that for her birthday, she did not want presents. The present she wanted from us, here friends were prayers for her, for her family, for their well being, for God's plans in her life and prayers of blessings. Some may interpret this as holy but I saw this not as holiness but really as a sincerity which I tried learning but somehow still failed. Birthdays somehow to me, meant at least time spent with loved ones, receiving wishes and greetings and best if there were gifts. I remember once I had an early birthday celebration and my parents did not wish me on the real day itself, and I threw a tantrum at them, at the whole family. My my, how childish I felt I was then! hahhaha...

Ever since I left home, each birthday has been different and has brought different meaning. During A levels, I had my Brunei kaki with me who gave me a surprise. When I was 18, I spent a most memorable one with my grandparents and aunt and uncle. When I was 19, I had a surprise at midnight by organised by my best friends in uni. When I was 20, i spent 2 days and 1

night with few special ppl, having them set aside that time for me and an early surprise which caught me so off handed when i least expected it.

I had mixed feelings prior to my birthday frankly. Being in a faraway land, I thought that nah, I won't be celebrating my birthday. Partly, my close friends weren't here, partly i thought the guys here may even forget my birthday. At the beginning of the week, on Sunday, I was debating whether to go church... U know the picture of a devil and an angel on the other was just playing vividly in my mind, one giving reasons to go, another reasons to not go church. I woke up on Sunday morning, then told myself to go back to sleep again, onli to wake up at 9.30a.m. feeling the impulse to go church. Yet, the battle continued, with the devil trying to tell me, "U're gonna be late, no point going..."

I was glad I did not let him win the battle, i went to church, was a bit late, but didnt miss much. The first song maybe, but nothing else. Pastor talked based on John 12:1-11. On extremeties. Mary showed an act of extreme love and devotion to Jesus. She used perfume that could be worth a year's salary in their time to wash his feet and used her hair to clean his feet too... She did it not out of duty nor obligation but out of pure devotion and love to him.

Then going to the total opposite end was Judas Iscariot. He was entrusted the responsibility of being a treasurer yet he used the money for his own desires. It was an act of extreme hypocrisy.

Then to Jesus, the most humble man on earth who received the most extravagant gift from a woman, just before his death. Had it not been for his extreme love and devotion for us mankind, what will have happened to us now? I truly can't imagine.

It then striked me, was presents and all just so important in life? Yeah, some people's love language can be gifts. I know I love receiving gifts too... But it striked me, haven't i received the greatest gift of all. It has been in front of Him the whole time without me realising it!!! How blinded have I been all these while...

And as I pondered over the week, i couldn't but help realise that I've had so many gifts just right in front of me... my family members, my other loved ones, the friends I've made, who've all made me in one way or another, my spiritual family, all these were the best and are the best gifts i can ever received. Somehow, it changed my perspective of receiving gifts.

I decided to start my day off differently as well. I pulled myself out of bed to go for a nursing shift. I was supposed to do it on Wednesday, but decided to change it to Fri. Was hard pulling myself out of bed this morning, but thank God i did. Being reminded of what I learnt in church, I felt the need to go and have a look and experience the work of nurses again. Little things that they do throughout the night, during the wee hours of the morning, and getting patients up and about, doing bed, sponging those who can't do it themselves, just somehow reminded me of Mary and what Pris messaged me the other day. "... Continue to be faithful, big ways or small,noticed or unnoticed." Indeed, they are noticed by the Great One. And I was reminded of this verse, "Just as the son of man did not come to be served but to serve many."

With the receiving of msgs and wishes in emails, to messages, to facebook messages, I can't help but to feel so blessed. One message that made me laugh throughout the day was this message, "I just want to sent a sincere birthday wish because I know this 21st birthday means a lot to you. It is the day you can say, "I can officially start dating!!"" I was laughing all the way while waiting for the bus and smiling from time to time... People seeing me smiling in hospital may think I've gone nuts or something... I know I've been telling many that I'll wait till 21 to decide bout my partner and start praying for him, but somehow, I still can't see anything coming along... It comes then to say, "Lord, your will be done." hehehehe...

And I had a huge surprise in store.. haha.. these guys left me pretty impressed with this gift. ;p All i did was mentioned once it would be nice to have blender to blend stuff to cook...

Thank you guys! Smoothie on the way! hahhahah...

A Word of Assurance...

2009-03-25T08:27:00.003Z

One night the Lord spoke to Paul in a vision: "Do not be afraid; keep on speaking, do not be silent. For I am with you, and no one is going to attack and harm you, because I have many people in this city." So Paul stayed for a year and a half, teaching them the word of God.
Acts 18:9-11

What greater assurance can there be and having it come from a book that was written thousands of years back? What else can be compareth to you love for us O Lord!

God’s unseen presence comforts me,

I know He’s always near;

And when life’s storms besiege my soul,

He says, “My child, I’m here.” —D. De Haan

Thus Far The Lord Has Helped

2009-03-23T17:08:00.006Z

I remember just no too long ago last year when a visiting pastor was preaching in church, he shared this phrase which has struck me constantly to this day. All things beautiful has become common. What did he mean by that? How often do we sit back and give thanks for a sunny day? For the red light lighting up on the traffic light, giving us a moment to ponder. For the birds chirping in the day time. For the quiet still night. For the stars in the sky. For the people around us who may have just gave you a smile that made your day? Indeed, I for one do take forgranted these things too.

1 Samuel 7:12 Then Samuel took a stone and set it up between Mizpah and Shen. He named it Ebenezer, saying "Thus far has the Lord helped us."

It's so easy to look and wait for a great miracle to happen before we praise God for the amazing wonders He did in our lives. If there were great miracles happening everyday, would it then be any significant at the right time? Knowing the nature of human hearts, won't it be taken forgranted sooner or later?

As I started clinicals, I realised there are bad days as well as good days. There are times I wake up dreading the day ahead. I pray extra harder that He will see me through the day. When it's over, I breathe a sigh of relief and yet go back to the routine of slacking and doing all unnecessary stuffs forgetting what I had promised myself to do. I forget to give thanks to Him for carrying me through a day.

I wonder what I did for God today:

How many times did I once pause and pray?

But I must find and serve Him in these ways,

For life is made of ordinary days. —Macbeth

I've been in Notts for 2 months I think. Still unsure as to why He brought me thus far, to this foreign land, away from my comfort zone, away from the comfort of friends and family, not under the protection of my spiritual family, I do fear at times, i do feel lonely at times. No like-minded people who see things the way I see. Starting all over from scratch. Exciting in a way when you're up for the challenge, but depressing when you're down. All the more, I am reminded that this journey of faith is not one within my control, but definitely in the Hands of the Almighty One. A journey of moulding and building it will be.

2 Corinthians 4: 7-9
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all surpassing power is form God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Father, I thank thee for being the Ebenezer of my life.

A journey to walk...

2009-03-21T13:18:00.004Z

If all things were to fall apart, is there anywhere or anyone you can lean on?

Had this conversation with a very very close friend just now and somehow we ended up along these lines of where can we find our security in... Many things happen around us with or without us knowing but even when we know bout it, at times it is not within our means and capability of solving it...

We came to realise that be it in a relationship or a friendship, there are times where there just seems no where or no one you can turn to, no matter how close you are with that someone. I'm not trying to be pessimistic here, but if say one depends on another person and cling on to him/her, and if things don't work out, where will you end up? You've placed effort, love, hope, thoughts into this one person, but all seems gone now...

But one thing that comforted us was that there was this "invisible" man that we could turn to... He seems to be not there, yet at times we think He's there... He answers at times, and sometimes we wait and wait and still no answer come. Then, do we still wait? Or do we lose trust in Him and turn our backs on Him?

I once had a conversation with someone I cared for deeply who was going through a very down time in life. She was having a very unpleasant time. She cried saying that she can't possibly talk to anyone about what she was going through, not friends, not family members, there was just no one be it for fear of the judgment of others or pride. All she asked was to keep her in prayer and to allow these times to pass, for God's will to be done. Her tears pierced through me somehow... How sad it is when you see there's no one you can turn to. But again, it comforted me that she still held on tightly to Him.

And our conversation went on... Our security in Him doesn't come with a snap of the finger. It comes with time, with trust, with faith in him. Faith, this word, deep ain't it? I for one, can't even explain faith... Ask me for examples i may be able to share though... =) "Com'on... We gotta have faith..." Have you heard it being said? Yeah, I heard it loads of time. Yet, unbeknownst to the audience, what one goes through despite saying it. I like what ODJ wrote bout it today. Faith must have its reasons, or it is foolish. 2 Cor 10:4 (NLT) We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. In Sunday School, I remember singing the song: He makes things beautiful in His time... In His time... In His time... And it brought me through some tough times in life.

Life's no bed of roses... Don't roses have thorns too? =) If life were to be so smooth-sailing, how'd you expect one to grow and move on in life? Look at people who have gone on far in life, are there any who would say life's been easy through it all... Nah, don't think so... But what I've heard of is this: He stood by me through it all. Do you want to say that too? =)

Like-Mindedness...

2009-03-20T07:20:00.003Z

1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father.

Philippians 2:1-11

It's funny how it just seems to be stated so clearly what we are supposed to do and not what we think we should do! =)

Notes O Notes How Important Thou Art...

2009-03-18T19:17:00.005Z

Finally, after much prolonged agony since last week, I've been relieved of it... hahahha... Nah... that is exaggeration onli...

But I've realised the importance of these precious notes of mine ever since I came... hehehe... Of course, this means... S-T-U-D-Y!!!!

Now I'm waiting for a box to come in three months time... Wwwwhhhheee...

2009-03-11T17:56:00.005Z

Had a lecture on palliative care and death. An issue many of us avoid thinking bout or talking bout it... I admit to it too... Some will say touchwood or reli touch or smack a wood after mentioning the word... Triggered many thoughts through my head today...

While we were watching a video clip being played, interviewing patients who were nearing their death beds, some said they rather not linger upon death; some want it to happen fast; some immediately; some will worry or think bout those whom they will be leaving behind be it spouse, kids, parents, loved ones etc; some see it as a long sleep.

I know I tremble and can even tear just at the thought of some loved one leaving. Though I'm assured of where they will be and what holds for them beyond, yet the need of humans for people to be by their side physically seems just to complex to fathom and understand. All the more for those who have not understood the meaning of salvation, I fear all the more. Phil 3:20 says, And our citizenship is in heaven.

One phrase that someone in the video said striked me, "Things that are important now are things that were not important before." Another said, "You look not at the weeks but just to the next day." Undeniably, many including myself do not see this just as how we are now, or tend to overlook or even take forgranted what we hold or have in store now. And, there's no point in saying, "I told you so..." when all has happened. At some point then, some truly really hope for a miracle to happen yet saying, "... but it'll never happen..." There seems to be this sense of despair and hopelessness somehow.

I remember the few times I've had conversations with close friends on this issue where most will say they rather die first before their loved ones because they can't bear the pain of living on when one has passed on. Some hope for a quick death. I know I myself never could give an answer... I believe that God holds everything in His hands, He, being the Creator of all, only has the right to take and give just as it is. We may not be able to fathom it, nor can I imagine when people say they are able to find peace in the midst of it all, but He promised to never bring us through what we cannot bear. Faith easier said than done.

Being halfway through this career I've chosen, death is not something that can be avoided, breaking the bad news to a patient or to their caregivers of the days left, or that someone has passed on will not be easy. I am not void of emotions either. Just through a clip I was already on the verge of tears, yet I know that there has to be trust that He has placed me where I am for a reason. =)

Food for thought...

2009-03-10T07:44:00.002Z

As i did my quiet time, this few lines strucked me... taken from this site.

May our desire to have what God has kept from us not keep us from enjoying what He has given to us (Heb. 13:5). — Julie Ackerman Link

Thinking It Through

What (or who) am I looking to for happiness?

Is this wise? Or do I need to make some changes?

How may I be content? (Heb. 13:5).

Godliness with contentment is great gain. —1 Timothy 6:6

Think bout it... =)

It's raining ice!!!

2009-03-08T16:08:00.004Z

Phewww.... Ain't I thankful that I reached church early today. Ain't I thankful I stayed back for lunch after church. Ain't I thankful I reached home just in time before rain came. Or so it was ice i thuoght, and was quite surprise to see why it caused louder than usual splitter splatter on my window pane. Opened the kitchen window and reached out my hand and 1mm size of ice just dropped on my hands...

Lesson learnt to never trust the computer's weather forecast. It said 16 degrees outside, and seeing how brightly the sun rays shone into my room waking me up, I decide to trust it, walking out in a thin jacket. For once, I remembered to take long a scarf and poof! Once outside, the wind just blew non stop. The sun was shining brightly and so was the wind blowing strongly! Weird combination... Gloomier (is there such a word?) when I walked back after church but the wind was as crazy as before... but i survived it all! haha...

I would hurry to my pace of shelter, far from the tempest and storm." -Psalms 55:8-

Wanna share this one song that served as a reminder to me today... The lyrics itself were already meaningful. How many times have I failed, it's always bout me, myself and I, but he choose to remind me that I am still loved, a channel through which he can still flow through.... :)

Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there is hatred let me bring your love.
Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord
And where there's doubt, true faith in you.

Oh, Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.

Make me a channel of your peace
Where there's despair in life, let me bring hope
Where there is darkness, only light
And where there's sadness, ever joy.

Oh, Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.

Make me a channel of your peace
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
In giving to all men that we receive
And in dying that we're born to eternal life.

Oh, Master grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love with all my soul.

Mangoes!

2009-03-07T15:26:00.004Z

I decided to not close the blinds last night before i slept, for fear that i'll end up waking up at 3pm again... ;p Then i decided to make a trip to Beeston to get some groceries and have a walk instead of ending up cooped up in front of my computer for another weekend...

This was the best buy of the day! LOL!

2 boxes * 4 kgs!!!

12 mangoes!!!

wwwwwwwhhhhhheeeeeeeeee!!!

All these for: 1 pound! haha...

Whilst walking....

2009-03-07T09:59:00.003Z

I could think no thought neither could I get anything done. I walked in silence, and felt a nudge. He said to me, "My dear child, what do you have to ask?" I don't know," I replied... Then like a gush of the wind, questions ran through my head. "Why this? Why that? Why me? When? Where? How?" Spilling it all out, I felt a sense of relieved. Not burdenless yet but comforted of the existence of Him, my daddy up there. :)

Of Hernia and Needles!

2009-03-05T16:49:00.003Z

Never has CSU or CSS (Clinicals Skills Session) been as interesting before i think! ahhaha.. Classes so far has been somewhat draining... Past few days, lectures 9 to 5 on various systems, some making sense, some not so, taking time to acquire to a different style of teaching and so on and so forth, and today was a whole day of clinicals skills from 9.15 till 3.30ish i think...

Gone are the days where SPs are 'fake' , having u try imagine them having a lump, a pain here and there, but now, we see the real one... i admit to the reluctancy of waking up early this morning, thinking of skipping lunch and breakfast for a longer sleep, but finally dragged myself out of bed, getting all things ready and taking a bus to uni! lol...

I saw and felt , inguinal hernias, incisional hernia, abdominal hernia, stomas, reli felt splenomegaly, saw jaundice and did some PR and breast examination on models of course! haha...

Differences in IMU and Notts teaching:

U don't waste time greeting, inspecting, explaining and asking permission from patient. You go straight to Hi, I'm so and so, I'd like to examine you, is that ok? Full stop!
U kneel on your knees to inspect an inguinal hernia, and do abdomen palpation. If this was done in IMU, a certain lecturer would have gone bonkers explaining your professionalism and all...
We talk bout doing things in order back there... From hands, to face, to chest, to abdomen... Here, abdomen, hands, face, chest and so on...
It's all bout taking the initiative here! ;p

But, in a way, IMU has taught us fairly well I should say, but again, different teaching systems... Here, you somehow derive your answer... There we gotta shoot straight to a diagnosis where we get ignored at times when u say the diagnosis... LOL...

Another interesting experience today was poking a needle into ur abdomination to know how diabetic patients on insulin jabs feel. Not as scary as it sounds lar... Goitre, acromegaly, diabetic nephropathy with charcot foot, and glucose test...

Interesting session today! A new insight and looking forward to clinicals now! =)

A Record...

2009-02-28T21:21:00.002Z

Gosh... How in the world did I managed to sleep till three today i really dunno... lol... Not that i slept too late last nite as well... Blame the drapes then... I was thinking that if i close it before i slept, mebe i can sleep in a little later... but not till that late!

I remember waking up in the middle though about 11 or 12 i think when i heard ppl talking outside my room.. Was the office bringing ppl to view rooms i think... suddenly a weird thought went thru my mind then... wat if they open my room they.. (they have keys to our room k...) but then after a while the voices diminished... lol... then i went back to sleep again... @.@

But... how does it shows that I've not overslept? Firstly, I'd no headache when I woke up... Secondly, i did not have any nightmares... These 2 signs usually tell me that I've slept too much... lol... Mebe it'll be a compensation for the weeks to come... ;p

Another lazy day gone by... But I'm loving it... =)

An Ordinary Thursday Night With Loads of Fun

2009-02-26T22:42:00.008Z

Out of the blue, we suggested having dinner together...

Teck Jian was the main chef of the day with his curry chicken... hehehe...

Menu for the night was:

Curry Chicken

Herbal Pork Rib Soup

Kicap Pork (Sainsbury pork is disgusting... eeeewwww...)

Mixed Veg

The main chef peeling his potatoes...

Danis cooking vegetable... his favourite... LOL... *as if...*

The veg chef...

The wok of cooked veg... 7 kinds of veg i think...

I just realised the photographer so smartly left out the cooked dishes... LOL...

Joke of the day:

Jimmy: Have you been to Sainsbury?

Danis: Yes... when I was young...

???? Sainsbury is a supermarket bout 15-10 mins away from my place... further for Danis but still... LOL... A frequent place we have gone to ever since we came here... Danis Danis... lol...

1 Month and A Day...

2009-02-23T22:17:00.003Z

Who would have guessed that one month has just flown by just like that... This time last month, we were all fast asleep in bed at this earthly hour from jetlag... Now, the computer and movies are pretty much our companion when we are free... We've gone thru infections course, an exam, briefings, clinical skills practice, hospital visits, had our last anatomy class today and clinicals starting next Monday.

Had a glance at the timetable and even induction week also classes from 9 to 5?????!!! I'm starting my rotations with medicine for 7 weeks then going to surgery... To look forward to it or not, that's the question...

Anatomy class was interesting today. Finally, we can say we know more than we did in IMU bout inguinal hernias so who needs help??? :p Using a book and a real life specimen helped loads and cleared the path of having to use or imaginations when u just can't seem to imagine anything.

Life here has been pretty much smooth sailing since we came. I thank God for the company here.. We started out not knowing much bout one another, but at least now we get to joke and get along with one another pretty well... hehehe...

It has been a good time catching up with long lost friends as well. It's amazing how friends just seem to popped up suddenly when you lost touch with them for donkey years... hahahha... was good catching up...

i'm lazy to blog now... Mind not able to multitask at the moment... tata... hahaha...

'Twas A Gentle Reminder...

2009-02-22T18:02:00.004Z

How many times have you taken communion? Most church at least once a month, some weekly just like my church back home. As I was sitting in church today, the pastor started communion by talking bout recollections of the past. I sat thinking how does it link to taking communion. He went on saying that we can just come and go eating communion monthly and not ponder upon it. There are times where we sit pondering and recollecting memories bout the past. The same applies for communion too. Jesus died on the cross for us that our sins became His. He exchanged it in turn for our salvation. Communion is a time where we recollect back how much he has done in our lives. What needs to be exchange at this point of time, we bring it to Him once more. The significance of communion I was reminded of. Just as the verse goes in Luke 22, 19And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me." 20In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.

This the song sang at church which strike me to be so true...

"The Power of the Cross"
Words and Music by Keith Getty & Stuart Townend
Copyright © 2005 Thankyou Music

Oh, to see the dawn
Of the darkest day:
Christ on the road to Calvary.
Tried by sinful men,
Torn and beaten, then
Nailed to a cross of wood.

CHORUS:
This, the pow'r of the cross:
Christ became sin for us;
Took the blame, bore the wrath—
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Oh, to see the pain
Written on Your face,
Bearing the awesome weight of sin.
Ev'ry bitter thought,
Ev'ry evil deed
Crowning Your bloodstained brow.

Now the daylight flees;
Now the ground beneath
Quakes as its Maker bows His head.
Curtain torn in two,
Dead are raised to life;
"Finished!" the vict'ry cry.

Oh, to see my name
Written in the wounds,
For through Your suffering I am free.
Death is crushed to death;
Life is mine to live,
Won through Your selfless love.

FINAL CHORUS:
This, the pow'r of the cross:
Son of God—slain for us.
What a love! What a cost!
We stand forgiven at the cross.

Manchester!!!

2009-02-22T00:11:00.011Z

Talking about spontaneous... this is reli reli spontaneous! The initial plan was to go London over the weekend but knowing Malaysians culture, you tend to procrastinate and wait and wait hoping that tickets will get cheaper. This was not the case. From a 36 pound ticket it ended up to 54 pounds? If ever our parents know we spent that just to go London, wonder what will happen... hahaha... So last minute change of plans, Manchester here we come. Efforts to buy the ticket also took hours which truly tested yours truly patience! Another long story... Gosh... Thank you Sin Wee n Duo Ying for the help in the end...

The trip started way early in the morn

ing. Teck Jian initially thought of not going dy (

after all efforts spent on buying tickets cos he woke up stoning! lol...) but we managed to drag ourselves to the station.

One funny incident on the train which was relat

ed to u

s after we came down. Matthew sat opposite this man who came onboard few stations after we had been on the train... When he came onboard and sat, he just chanted or mumbled the whole journey thru... Matthew's vivid imagination brough

t him to think what if this man was a terrorist who will suddenly rip his shirt off and threatened the train with a bomb... to be

able to type this means that none of that happened rite? hahaha...

Coincidentally Manchester games as going on at that time. When i told some I was in Manchester they thought we had gone all the way from Notts just to see it... Nah... We went to make full use of whatever weekends we had more like it... Lol... Cos dim sum shops open bout lunch, hence we went to scout around the museum and MGames... We were too early cos the stalls for the food fair were not even fully setup yet! After grabbing some food, we went to the museum... The museum was showcasing the mystery of Lindow Man... Apparently this is bout a man whose body was found in the peat in Lindow ages ago... No source of his name was found and hence the name Lindow Man.

Did you know that mummies had their brain removed through their nose because they thought that it was not important? @.@ Some pics are stuck inside my camera's memory card which refuses to work at the moment...

I like this pic taken somewhere within the museum...

After that, we drop by the sports centre, where we met few seniors from IMU... That's the benefit you get from studying in IMU... We get to meet seniors wherever we go... hahahha... I met Angie too... lol... Busy woman she is... lol ;p

Manchester is definitely way way happening then Notts... Chinatown, shopping centre, places all within the reach in the city itself... One day is definitely not enough to go around... hahhaha... But mebe talking bout scenery and greens Notts will be better i guess... Neway, the whole point of the trip was to go eat dimsum...

After dimsum it was just exploring the place... Who says guys dun shop... ;p check tis out...

*hint* check the shoes... ;p

Picadilly Gardens...

time flew by... next was dinner... Angie suggested this place called Red Chilli... Good recommendation... All the food on the pics looked spicy... it was a szechuan restaurant... Food came to the table with the spicy look but nay... But overall it was still good... A whole meal of "spicy" food...

Tis the day trip! ;p

I can't resist not putting this up...

2009-02-17T21:31:00.002Z

Sorry to some... It's in Mandarin... Can ask me I'l translate for you but it won't be that funny anymore... hehehhe....

現在的小朋友真得是天兵天將...

一位國文老師的告白(沒行情時輕鬆一下)

一位國文老師的告白
我是個國中的國文老師，生平最痛苦的事情就是改作文!!
字醜就算了，還會自己學倉頡創字!!
創字就算了，還會用自己奇怪的邏輯寫句子!!
每次都改到哭笑不得……………
====================================================
１、元旦時，我們全家一起到歷史博物館參觀「冰馬桶」…
師評：有這樣的東西嗎？我也要去！（兵馬俑）

２、早上起床整裡「遺容」後，我們到學校集合，搭車前往墾丁畢業旅行
師評：不知道你家是哪一家殯儀館？老師一直都不知道…（儀容）

３、昨晚左眼皮跳個不停，當時就覺得那是「胸罩」，果然今天皮夾被扒走了!
師評：孩子，你已經這麼大了嗎？（凶兆）

４、報上說重金屬污染過的牡蠣，可「治」癌…
師評：一字之差，養蚵人家翻身矣！
我是不是該趕快去養牡蠣？會賺到翻哦… （致癌）

５、昨晚我和同學到速食店吃晚餐，我們點了兩個漢堡、「雞份一塊」…
師評：好吃嗎？雞糞？（雞塊一份）

６、星期天準備外出逛街時，匆忙之間不小心給「肛門」夾到，真倒楣!!
師評：老師很好奇──誰的肛門這麼大…？（鋼門）

７、四下無人，不要從背後拍我肩膀，我很容易「受精」…
師評：孩子，我可能是你爸哦… 老師記得曾這樣讓很多人「受精」喔!（受驚）

８、逛完花市後，我花錢買下「賤男」，準備帶回家過年。
師評：發音正確一點，「劍蘭」會哭的…

９、我的歷史老師長髮披肩，個子矮小，脾氣不好，有一點點「胸」…
師評：歷史老師要我轉告你「等下上歷史課﹐皮給我繃緊一點。」（兇）

１０、我認為自己是個品學兼「憂」的好學生…
師評：你是該憂了──不及格。（優）

１１、在「崎嶇坎坷」的人生「康莊大道」上，我們要堅定方向…
師評：此路可繼世界八大奇蹟兵馬俑之後，登上第九大奇蹟。

１２、從小就住在我們家隔壁的陳伯伯住家三樓最後面一間廚房不知道為什麼會
三不五時地飄來一陣又一陣烹煮紅燒牛肉時所散發出來的濃濃迷人中藥味道…
師評：明天麻煩你一口氣唸完這句給我聽，不准換氣。

=========================================================
這次出的作文題目是：美食與我
我非常沾沾自喜，相當期待這麼生活化又簡單的題目
一定能讓他們發揮的淋漓盡致，
可以減輕我每次改作文到快往生的噩運!!!

沒想到我錯了!!!!!!!
這些天兵天將們每個都是未來的棟樑????……

節錄一些下來:

1.我最喜歡吃的食物是生魚片，但是生魚片最讓我困擾的地方就是他的魚刺很多。

2.我最喜歡吃的食物是生魚片，唯一美中不足的是，他總是沒煮熟。

3.我最喜歡吃的美食是青菜，青菜中最喜歡吃的美食是白菜，為什麼喜歡吃白
菜呢？因為他是青菜的一種（繞口令嗎？）

4.我最喜歡吃滷肉飯跟貢丸湯，他們對我來說不只是一種美食，而是……兩種美
食。（真是謝謝你的數學教學）

5.我最喜歡吃外婆煮的菜，裡面包含了很多愛心，但是萬一外婆死了我就吃不
到了，所以我要趁外婆還活著的時候，叫他每天煮三餐給我吃。
（這算虐待老人嗎？）

6.我最喜歡吃那種在外面跑的雞肉（所以你要吃雞肉前都要追著他跑？）

7.我最喜歡吃美食，是那種出現陸地上，天天都看的到的那種肉（人肉？）

8.我對美食的要求很嚴格，他不能是由一位傷心的廚師做出來的
（連續劇看太多了，孩子）

9.媽媽很厲害，他下廚以後，可以把一顆蛋變成一顆荷包蛋（不然呢？）

10.每次媽媽煮完菜我們全家都會歡呼，於是媽媽就走進廚房再做第二道
（原來你家都是一道菜煮完再煮一道…）

11.我很喜歡跟爸爸去逛夜市，因為美食都能讓我感到垂涎三尺，只要我看到那
些食物出現，就會跟爸爸說我要吃這個我要吃那個結果我當然什麼都沒吃到
（好心酸的孩子）

12.我最喜歡吃媽媽煮的菜，跟外面賣的差的可遠呢!
（那到底是好吃還是不好吃？）

13.世界上美食很多，其中我最喜歡吃的外國料理是台南擔仔麵
（同學，請問你是哪國人？）

14.生魚片實在是太好吃了，每次一想到我的口水都會緩緩的滴下來…
（慢動作嗎？）

15.有一樣食物讓我百吃不厭，那就是雙胞胎，名字聽起來大家一定都會覺得很
奇怪，沒錯，他就是很奇怪（這樣有解釋到嗎？）

16.我吃東西總是又快又急，沒辦法，熟能生巧嘛!
（我呼吸總是又快又急，沒辦法，熟能生巧嘛…！）

有前輩說：他上輩子殺了人，所以這輩子處罰他當老師。

唉...我想我不只殺了人，還是………………
殺..
錯..
人….
才會淪落到當國文老師………

換小學老師了:

１。題目：一邊……一邊……
小朋友寫：他一邊脫衣服，一邊穿褲子。
老師批語：他到底是要脫還是要穿啊？

２。題目：其中
  小朋友寫：我的其中一只左腳受傷了。
  老師批語：你是蜈蚣嗎？

３。題目：陸陸續續
小朋友寫：下班了，爸爸陸陸續續的回家了。
  老師批語：你到底有幾個爸爸呀？

４。題目：難過
  小朋友寫：我家門前有條水溝很難過。
  老師批語：老師更難過。

５。題目：又又
  小朋友寫：我的媽媽又矮又高又胖又瘦。
  老師批語；你的媽媽是變形金鋼嗎？

６。題目：你看
  小朋友寫：你看什麼看！沒看過啊
  老師批語：沒看過

７。題目：欣欣向榮
  小朋友寫：欣欣向榮榮告白。
  老師批語：連續劇不要看太多了！

８。題目：好吃
  小朋友寫：好吃個屁。
  老師批語：有些東西是不能吃的。

９。題目：天真
  小朋友寫：今天真熱。
老師批語：你真天真。

１０。題目：果然
  小朋友寫：昨天我吃水果，然後喝涼水。
老師批語：是詞組，不能分開的。

１１。題目：先……再……，例題：先吃飯，再冼澡。
  小朋友寫：先生，再見！
  老師批語：想像力超過了地球人的智慧。

１２。題目：況且
小朋友寫：一列火車經過，況且況且況且況且況且況
  老師批語：我死了算了

Check out the previous posts if you want to see pics... LOL

2009-02-17T20:14:00.006Z

Most have been uploaded to facebook too... =) How can we survive without facebook... LOL...

I give up!!! Blogger is taking ages to load the pics and then tell me server fail... grrr... check out facebook lar... :p

Hibernating...

2009-02-17T16:03:00.013Z

It's been a long long while since I've hibernated at home n do nothing but sit in front of the computer. I likkkkeeee...

Gosh and it has flown by too fast... It was morning when I sat on the chair... Now it's getting gloomi-er... Yer... This blog is taking ages to be posted up.. Either my internet cacat or the uploading got problem... grrr...

I accomplished pretty much in fact... Lol... catching up with people counts rite? Whihc was my very main aim. I've been sitting here since 10.30 a.m. in the morning? hehhehe... Feels good to do nothing but slack :p I cannot get used still to talking to ppl eight hours behind their time. They are eating dinner n me brunch... lol...

Take a look at these pictures with a gurl who is supposed to be 24 but you judge for urself... lol..

She ate grapefruit last year during her birthday then She wanna fight over the comp... LOL...

this year too! lol...

Happy Birthday to little baby gurl!!! hahahha... Nah, you don look 24! hehhehe...

Phweeet... :p

2009-02-16T20:38:00.005Z

This thought went thru my head while i was preparing dinner just now...

How many people are actually pursuing their very own dreams, reli reli their own dreams, not cos ur daddy or mummy asked you to, or cos ur loved one wanted you to or just to be near him or her for that matter?

Have you ever thought that how hard you strive for so much, if there were to come a day where all was gone, where will you be falling back to?

Sometimes I wonder what lies ahead
How long till my hunger is fed
They say it's hard to make it in this part of town
So many people on this merry-go-round

Some folks try astrology
Some turn to crystal balls
To find an answer,
To get through it all
I just fall on my knees and I try to pray
In the silence I can hear Him say

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time

I often feel like I'm two steps behind
Somebody must have moved that finish line
There are a thousand reasons
Why I should give up
But I'm stubborn in the things I believe

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign

'cause maybe there's another plan
One I still can't see
A little surprise, like your love in my life
Funny how time changes how we see

The river runs and the river hides
Out to the ocean and under the sky
I promise you, the answer will come
Hold on to patience and watch for the sign
Everything in its time
Everything in its time

Friday the 13th???

2009-02-13T23:53:00.005Z

Something happened this morning. Someone slipped on the slippery floor in the Medical School entrance and even had a fracture. Admit that I didn't know what to do. What I remembered from First Aid was that the best first aid if you don't know what to do is to not do anything rite? hahha... But i guess should not reveal more bout the whole thing. (Someone mentioned before that doctors tend to overlook the confidentiality of certain issues but accountants are totally tight mouth bout it... ) One interesting thing i remembered partially unrelated and partially related was a passer-by mentioning It's Friday the 13th, then shakes her head and walk off. Just a pretty interesting statement I felt, not the fall part of course.

No doubt there are some people believing in that still... Haha... But having witnessed that incident, i dare witness I'm still alive after that, survived clinical skills, went for lunch and took a train to Birmingham! hahhaha...

This is just to say that I am in Birmingham! wahahhah... And i think Nottingham has "immunised" me to Birmingham's cold. I'm in Steph's room and she feels a little chilly but I feel warm... lol... Let's see whether there comes a day I'm able to wear shorts or skirts... hahhaha...

Random thoughts...

Finally!!!

2009-02-12T19:45:00.004Z

I just realised how smart i was to left my software for my camera in Malaysia and it's so hard to look for the software online, hence, I'm not able to post picture up... But this was a cute pic I saw on one of the online newspaper this morning. The next snow, i should try this.

Neways, there seem so much to update i don't even know where to start from. It has been nearly three weeks since I've been here. When i thought of that, this thought jus wheeze by. Soon it'll be a month, soon few months, then a year then 2 year, then 2.5 years, then i graduate???!!! hehhehe... My point is that time just flies. I'm learning to talk more as people here talk a lot, and they emphasize a lot a lot on communication skills.

When we went for a occupational health check up, it took more than half an hour a person just for the lady to take our blood, and for some to get vaccination. (Back home, a consulation is done in 10-15 minutes? hahhah...) Not because we asked any questions, in fact we were willing to let her do anything since it was free. (Mind you, a blood test just for Hep B surface Ag costs 40 pounds, then if u wanna do for Ab it's another 40, then another 40 for some other tests!!!) But, she just had to ask for inform consent, explain the procedure yada yada.. Something i foresee myself doing in couple of months time? IMU ppl, buck up on your informed consent in PBLs! Easier said than done, we were told that then but nah, we just took it lightly...

There just seems to be so much distractions i'm taking ages to even type a post out... Life's pretty good so far... Just double or nearly triple the temperature lower than back home... I'm find with that... Just not the wind though... Your nose hurts, your ears hurt n your face hurts as well. Blehz... One not so likeable experience was snow snowing down ur face too plus wind!!! bbbbrrrr... Poor Teck Jian's face was dripped wet with water... lol...

Pics tell a thousand words... grrrr... better get the software downloaded fast or else...

The infections course class has been done n over with. And there was an exam with true/false/abstain questions. 100 questions with negative marking. Plus an essay. Wonder when was the last time we wrote an essay... @.@ But thank goodness it was not counted for. Phew...

With that done comes the induction course. We're into the fourth day today. first 2 days started with briefings n there was a talk on public health in UK which lasted for 3 hours straight. With one doctor to 6 students, we had no choice but to keep our eyes wide wide awake the whole 3 hours!!! The best achievement so far we would all proudly claim! lol...

Hospital visit was today. F1 doctors are just so helpful and so willing to tell you all they know. We met an IMU super super super way super senior from M1/01. What a small world eh? Thinking that no one here knew what we go through, and in a land foreign to us, here he was, a guy totally understanding the whole transition, the need of seniors, the whole IMU tradition. IMU has connections... lol...

It snowed again while we were at the hospital. Quite heavy during the bus ride back to hospital that I decided to take the bus home instead of walk. But during the bus journey home, it turned to or rather rained instead... I like snow but not rain... Maybe I should like rain too cos apparently when it rains, it's less colder. Whichever, it's not good weather for walking! Blehz...

It's onli 9pm but i just feel like the wee hours of the morning. I guess I'm still a Malaysian... lol...

I'm A-L-I-V-E!!!

2009-02-10T00:51:00.002Z

Just in case some wondering souls are wondering where in the world I am, I'm in UK and am still alive...

Just that i've been internet-less for past 2 weeks... Thank goodness not anymore as of now! hahah...

Will post more bout life here after exams... Infections exams after a 2 week class...@.@ Thank goodness it's not counted but we are still expected to do our best! @.@ tata~~~

Home Sweet Home...

2009-01-15T01:05:00.003Z

Nothing can be better than home and just sleeping all I want and eating all sort of foods that me mummy knows I love! muahahha... Too bad that it's just for such a short while... =(

Did you know Brunei has it's own google and even logging into blogspot is in Malay... @.@ Internet here suddenly seems faster too.. Pardon me for I've not been back here for nearly a year and I'm kinda outdated...

I'm too lazy to write more cos it's breakfast time! This is just a post to be let known that I'm still alive... LOL.. I want a longer hols!!! wwwwwhhhhhheeeeeeeeee...

The last hurdle...

2009-01-07T11:02:00.004Z

Now i know why i started the station with a rest station... Initially i was grumbling the whole night through... I guess it got me off to a good start calming my nerves down...

This has a been a week of faith testing as i reflected... Though they may be counted as mini struggles, but it took a whole lot of faith and trust to push all the way through till this third day... The last hurdle to run... A long night but what is this compared to how much was suffered on the cross for all?

19 "Do not be afraid, O man highly esteemed," he said. "Peace! Be strong now; be strong."

Daniel 10:19

And not forgetting, the last day in IMU perhaps? =)

3 down 2 to go!!!

2009-01-06T05:09:00.004Z

I started of the question with this picture:

Asking to label A, B and C. What's A, B C... All within the lesion but no one knows the answer as of now! hahha... I'm just thankful that this is over... How in the world did Suisse and I came up with this word hypoaldosteronism??? Hahhaha... i'm glad that we can laugh over it now, but it's something we can then remember for life: Addison Disease!!! grrr... and let's hope that this will be the last theory paper in IMU in the Multi-Purpose Hall!!!!!! wwwwwwhhhhhheeeeeee... My favourite slang used these few days...

I just realised that a huge box will be out of my room or on my table with this gone... Just wondering now whether to bring them to UK... 10 files is no joke... Argh...

2 more days to go... OSCE here we come!!! =)

2 down 3 to go!!!!!!! wwwwwhhhheeeeee....

2009-01-05T09:41:00.003Z

The dreaded day has come and has started... Thank God that things hopefully went well today... Though there was so much still to know, and inguinal hernia???? @.@ One weight off the shoulder with Sem 3 down the drain but it was also then i realised how much i still don't know or remember... A motivation to study harder hopefully? =)

But throughout this past few days, I'm reminded that as i pray it is not just for a pass but ultimately also the equipping that come forth into this field we've been called into. Many a times i know many wanted to give up a and just throw off the whole weight off the shoulders but i'm glad we never gave up but persevered on... It just comes to reminds how much is required of us in this field and the commitment towards it.

It's so ironic too that at such a point, we just can't help but to hold on tightly to each and every word written in the bible. I realised that was all I could lean on and nothing else. All the sudden panic attacks, desperation, saturation, whining had to be resisted. Including coming online too! hahaha... I resisted the temptation of coming online the whole of yesterday with success! LOL...

It's back to Netter's and Webpath tonight... Netter's and Webpath how important thee art to us now... @.@

If You Have a Housemate and You are Lazy to Walk Out of Your Room...

2009-01-02T15:22:00.003Z

As I was chatting with a friend just now... this was the conversation we had...

11:14:50 PM Edwina Goh: my goodness, u communicate with her vis msn???
11:15:16 PM • Ch£øé • xoxo: haha ya
11:15:17 PM • Ch£øé • xoxo:
11:15:28 PM • Ch£øé • xoxo: faster. ????wouldn't walking be faster? and good exercise too... Health Issues encourage us to exercise... LOL...
11:15:44 PM Edwina Goh: goodness gracious...
11:15:50 PM Edwina Goh: wat's the point of being hsemate then?
11:15:51 PM Edwina Goh: hehehe
11:15:55 PM • Ch£øé • xoxo: HAHAHAA
11:15:59 PM • Ch£øé • xoxo: erm eating dinner together
11:16:04 PM • Ch£øé • xoxo: going to her room and stressed out like mad !!!my current housemates and to-be housemates(wherever you are...) this is what I've been told housemates are for!!! hahhaha....
11:16:05 PM • Ch£øé • xoxo: LOL
11:17:21 PM Edwina Goh: hahhaha
11:17:33 PM Edwina Goh: mebe i shud do that with my hsemate too...
11:17:33 PM Edwina Goh: hehehe
11:18:01 PM • Ch£øé • xoxo: HAHAHA
11:18:03 PM • Ch£øé • xoxo: you try la!
11:18:04 PM • Ch£øé • xoxo: HAHA

She even added considering the doors are wide open some more... LOL....

I admit I do that some times (the chatting online while we're in the house part), but that's when my housemate is in the room and the door closed... @.@

How in The World...

2009-01-02T14:25:00.003Z

Hmmm... Looking at the stack of notes which totally filled up an entire box and overflowing it, first, I'm truly amazed how all this things got into my head (or maybe, it went in and came outagain!!!) and how in the world am I gonna remember each and every bit for the coming four days... Gosh... It's just like I've come out of the box not knowing a single thing. I can tell you roughly which notes it is in, or for some, even the slides but I just can't seem to phrase it out properly as per required in the exam.... lallalalalla.....

Yet, I realised that holding a note wherever I go, does me no good either. It may temporarily bring a certain sense of peace knowing that I'm reading a note but it fades off after a while. It was then I asked myself, where then can true peace be found? Not in anyone else, but just a simple prayer made the day. Even as the day draw near, I know of friends who think that stressing up would do some good, or just thinking negative thoughts would be better, but i resolved that I will not think in such a way... Yet, it would not be for anyone to judge in that way that I am overconfident or well-prepared. =) It's just how I bring myself about. =) so chill.... :D

And I am also reminded, the next four days cou

nting as of Jan 5th will be the last four days in IMU hopefully!!!!! A tinge of sadness for this place where we all grew for the past 2.5 years yet, excited over what the future may bring... Gosh.. this is not meant to be an emo post, but just a random one while taking a break from studies...

Well, back to the grindstone it will be...

1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. 2Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Hebrews 12:1-3

Each time...

2009-01-02T11:07:00.003Z

Each time I press my button on the aluminium body of my comp, there goes at least half an hour... How in the world does time fly by once the internet gets working... Gosh... 'Tis truly amazes me and has been amazing me especially in this past two weeks...

Well, it'll be even more amazing to see how we are gonna pull through another 6 days??? This time, next week, I wonder where will I be.... =)

Good Riddance... Finally!

2008-12-31T02:12:00.002Z

Finally, after agonising and worrisome days of waiting for the long awaited offer letter, it came yesterday. More like, it was printed from IMU's printer... haha... And a pitiful 2 pages it was! Lol... But it was part of the copy that was crucial for the Visa Application. What to do...

Anyway, I really thank God that the Visa application today went well with no glitch at all. No rejections, nothing. Next, would be to see a miracle that the Visa can be taken within 5 working days??? To be on the safe side, they say 20 working days, but I don't have 20 workings days to wait or even 10 working days!! I'll be leaving on the 12th to Kuching, and then on the 14th to Brunei, where my passport is then required... Gah...

But, I'm just reminded Psalms 75:2-3 "I choose the appointed time; it is I who judge uprightly. When the earth and all its people quake, it is I who hold its pillars firm." His appointed time it will be then.. =) Faith!

Finally, a wave of relief floods through me... No more disruptions from study to complete the form, call IMU, call parents, irritations, annoyance yada yada... I'm suspecting whether that was the cause for the sleepless nights I've had have for this past week. For once, in so many days, I managed to sleep before 5am and there was no onset sleep and maintenance sleep insomnia... hahahha.... Or was it the tea? Or was it the prayer Swee Leen prayed over me? hahha... whichever it is, i just pray as of today, I be able to get back my proper sleep and proper study time!!! My dear alpha waves, come to me, that i may initiate NREM, delta waves, K complex and whatever that is required for proper control of my body's hormones, that all may go according to the right rhythms... Lol...

5 days to exam, and just as my dear housemate said, everyone just seem to be in the chilling mode... Not that any of us would say we are prepared, could this be a sense of maturity in handling exams or immunisation to it already. Another 5 days to push and run towards the temporary goal for this season.

On a lighter note, it's New Year Eve!!! Not sure whether there will be any celebration tonight but one thing is for sure! That notes will be our accompaniment through it somehow! haha...

Happy New Year people! Any resolutions been made? Anything looking forward to? =)

Mamma Mia!

2008-12-28T13:29:00.004Z

Yeah! I went to watch it today... I know, many say I can go over to UK and watch and initially I didn't intend to watch it here, but due to some last minute changes and thanks to a certain someone, I went! Some may say we're nuts for going at such a time, but this was the selected time, and yeah, we can take a break once in a while rite? =) Anyway, we've gone and no regrets! =)

My first time watching a musical and I'm truly impressed more by the orchestra playing beneath the stage. I admit there were time I was looking at the drummer and pianist down there and trying to focus on the cast too of course. Those were the only two I saw but I'm like wow... hahaha... How a person can multitask at a tambourine and two or three different kind of drums and knowing the time to play each one is just so amazing. I'm already struggling when playing the piano with both left and right hands and this ppl were just going on non-stop... @.@

The cast, don't know how to comment, for I'm no expert at this but let's say that the effort that has been put in is definitely worthwhile! I likkeee... Though we couldn't see their faces but just the figures going about... But, I won't bring a kid to watch this definitely! Why? As quoted from what I heard, "The touching of boobs (I think I didn't hear this wrongly) and the wearing of white lycra was not intentional." Are you puzzled now? hahah... No offense towards anyone, but it was a good musical after all. Now there adds another push to study hard! ;D

Let's hope I'll be able to watch more in UK and at a nearer seat? hehehe...

This Time Next Month a.k.a Jan 26,2009

2008-12-26T15:40:00.004Z

January 26, 2009!!!!! No more 8, but 9... and yeah, was talking to Lynn and she said, "Can you believe this time next month is Chinese New Year?" Instead of thinking of Chinese New Year, the first thing I thought of was, yeah, first day of class in a different Uni... blehz... @.@

How to Jog and Be Distracted! haha... ;p

2008-12-26T11:28:00.005Z

I know this is random but it's the exam season so what to do... lol...

I realised today that I for once can lost count of how many times i jog. Just as Lynn mentioned, at times you just wanna finish your target and make yourself satisfied. And it gets a little tiring and mentally draining at times... Okay... so what I did was put my Sony Walkman phone on shuffle and listen to songs while I jog. Suddenly it played Nilesh Kumar's lecture recording. hahha... I wanted to skip it but then decided to give it a try and it worked! There were a few days where i was a lil sleepy to concentrate on his lecture hence had the ingenius idea of recording it to play back. Somehow, it was never heard till occasional listening while listening to the phone songs. And today, it came in handy as revision for MSK!

It went something like: remember P and P. Pectoralis Minor is for Protraction. R is for R. Rhombiod is for Retraction. And i still can remember trapezius and sternocleidomastoid are special because they are not innervated by spinal nerves but by the XIth CN Accessory Nerve. Oh well, studies do get tedious at times, trying to remember which muscle for which action and where it inserts and attaches to... Whether recording was illegal I do not know but I know i did not sell it so should be ok i guess... heheh...

Question Answered... :)

2008-12-25T09:47:00.002Z

Many times, people do ask why I do so much for God, or rather church activities as some phrase it. Finally, Today as Pastor shared in His sermon an illustration, I too have an answer for the many questions that have been asked before! :)

This is the scenario:

A guy goes to this girl's house to give her a bouquet of flowers. Ding-dong, there the bells go. The guy stand outside, holding the bouquet behind his back, kinda anxious. Few seconds later, the door opens. "Hi XX," says him and shyly holds the bouquet in front of the girl's face. Heart definitely pounding. What will the girl do? Take the flower, throw it back to the guy's face; Take the flower, throw on the ground and stamp on it? (You never know, the movies do show it like that... hahah...)

Or the girl can just take the flower and just say a sweet thank you and melt the guy's heart... He showed her his love by giving her flowers and she reciprocated by just receiving it. That's one way of love. And that's the same with God's love. How do you want to receive it? I received it, said a sweet thank you and decided to show Him back how much I love Him. don't get me wrong, all work does not show love, but ultimately it's the relationship and the heart that is looked upon.

A simple illustration, but it explains it all! Merry Christmas to you, and you and you!

Christmas...

2008-12-24T08:45:00.004Z

Just as many of my batchmates will say, this is the year where we had a lot of first times... hahhaha... First time not celebrating Chinese New Year, first time sitting for summative with 3 systems in a row, and now... first time not celebrating Christmas and New Year!

I've been thinking of past Christmases past few years, where it has been a tradition if I were back at my grandparents place, to have a huge gathering with friends and relatives, laughing, exchanging gifts and yakking the night away. If not, at least it will just be time spent with loved ones, lazing around together.

Then it just striked me today, is that just what Christmas is. Even on this Christmas Eve, most of us have no plans, some to stay in MMS till it closes at 10, some cramming notes at home; then it striked me, since tonight is going to be a quiet night for me, maybe it's time to sit and recapture back the whole nativity scene of Christmas, ponder upon how long history has come it's where, to where we are now, and what we are doing about the story that has been told since 2000 years ago. How much have we done our part in what we've been called to do?

I once had questions as to why the song Christmas isn't Christmas went along that it really isn't Christmas till it happens in you heart. Being reminded of it today, just warms my heart. How you want Christmas to be, how much you want it to mean to you, it's all in our hands! =) So what's Christmas to you?

PS: Christmas Eve turned out to be not so monotonous with Swee Leen ajak-ing me out for dinner "her house" LOL for a western meal! hahaha... Here's some pics...

Hosanna

2008-12-23T15:00:00.001Z

Hosanna Guy Sebastian

All the Nation come
They bow and sing your majesty forever
Every tongue confess that you are Lord.

Every knee shall bow
Declare your name that you are Lord forever
High and lifted up We bless Your name

In your holiness
I find redemptions song
In Your majesty
I find where I belong

Hosanna You are holy and exalted
Hosanna You are high and lifted up
Hosanna You are worthy of all praise
We worship You

Drained...

2008-12-22T16:20:00.004Z

Gosh... Since when has filling up application form been so tedious. I admit, I do like filling up application forms, but for once, I'm defeated. The Online UK Visa Application is driving me mad... Below are the questions that are partly driving me mad...

Why will the course benefit me? (So that I'll be able to get a degree????)
Why did you choose this institution? (Cos it's one of our Partner Medical Schools?)
How did you come to find out about it? (It's one of our Partner Medical School?)
Do you plan to undertake another course after finishing this course? (If you say yes, they require the name of the institution, the address, the code, what qualification you get, yada yada... So, I think most people will end up putting no. How will I know the institution I wanna go to next and whether I will get it???)
What do you hope to do when you finished all your studies in the UK?

Of course, I re-phrased my sentences nicely, for the sake of getting a visa. I'm in a desperate situation where I don't think I have 30 working days for them to process the visa and i really hope to have a smooth application.

Was reminded of the verse about a week back which I'm holding on to tightly these days:

22"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 26Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? 26Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? [Luke 12:22-25]

In fact to count the blessings I've had today, I managed to study, despite having to run to the bank to get a banker's draft, did some grocery shopping, jogged, and even Nottingham was kind enough to scan the offer letter for us to aid in our Online application. Apparently they can also arrange accommodation for us. And, the lady-in-charge hopes to get the letter sent to us before Christmas... How, I don't know. Unless courier can reach here by tomorrow morning and is delivered to my place tomorrow evening or Christmas Eve provided the courier office is opened on that day... (That of course, is another matter!) Ain't I blessed enough for today? =)

Since I'm stucked at this question which I'm totally clueless about: How many hours of study will you require to attend every week? How much of this is during the day? I guess it's a sign for me to call it a day and try do some studying again before taking a beauty sleep.

When you are down...

2008-12-16T15:02:00.001Z

Stronger Hillsong

Verse 1:
There is Love
That came for us
Humbled to a sinner’s cross
You broke my shame and sinfulness
You rose again victorious

Verse 2:
Faithfulness none can deny
Through the storm
And through the fire
There is truth that sets me free
Jesus Christ who lives in me

Chorus:
You are stronger
You are stronger
Sin is broken
You have saved me
It is written
Christ is risen
Jesus You are Lord of all

Verse 3:
No beginning and no end
You’re my hope and my defence
You came to seek and save the lost
You paid it all upon the cross

Bridge:
So let Your Name be lifted higher
Be lifted higher
Be lifted higher

Nearing the Closing of Another Chapter

2008-12-16T12:50:00.003Z

December 16, 2008 6.30 p.m. signified the last of M206 classes. At the same time, it means that our time in IMU is nearly over. 2.5 years in IMU is nearing to an end. How fast time flies. The previous chapters that has been flipped was when I was in Form 5, after A levels and the time before coming into IMU and after coming into IMU. And soon, another chapter is going to end.

As class was nearing to an end, many thoughts went though my mind besides the International Code of Medical Ethics, some Acts, Declarations and whatever not (yea, doctors need to know acts, declarations, have conduct code to follow etc...), times back then just flew by.

Times where classes started early in the morning, at lunch, after lunch and all the PBLs to be done. Now, I love PBL and think I'm gonna miss it! Having 2 hour lecture a day and having the rest of the time free, besides PBL, CSU, MMS. Of course, there were other crazy stuffs that were done... hahah... that can be left to another post in itself... Just can't seem to grasp hold of it all and now, all this has come to an end. Another summative on Friday and 4 more days of exams in January, and then comes packing, travelling and then flying off.

Gosh, all this in the event of less than a month and a half! Come to think of it, so many things I wished I could have done better, so many things to try out, oh wells, but no regrets. No, this is not meant to be an emo post just a post of my thoughts while I wait for food in my stomach to digest before going back to studies.

Here's to M206! =)

Sick and Tired...

2008-12-14T13:14:00.004Z

For once, i'm gonna say I'm sick and tired of Sony Ericsson and of its Service Centre! Goodness, in just this one month, I've been there for goodness knows how many times, each time returning empty handed or with a hole burnt in the pocket... Sheesh...

Don't know whether to say a fruitful day or a wasted day or a tiring one... Some may even think I'm nuts to just go out at such crucial time, but mind you, I did study ok... Lynn and I studied at Starbucks and got a total of 4 planners... hahahah... You can guess that went to how many cups... lol... Wasn't for us anyway...

And spent a whole hour looking for phones and settling sim card problem and ending up with a new phone number. Due to all the annoyance, my dad decided to cancel my number and not depend upon that service provider anymore. So, I've changed number! Anyone who needs my number, drop me a msg and I'll give it to you... I don't think I have the time to msg everyone and say I've changed my number and besides, it's just going to last me for a month! So pls don't go around saying i nvr gave u my number... =)

Can you believe it? This time, next month, exams will be over, I'll be in Kuching or Brunei, and in 1 month 7 days time, I'll be leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again... hahah...

Anyway, the whole purpose of this post is just to vent out and type some rubbish to de-stress before going back to studies...

Lesson learnt for the day: To learn to not get worked up over small matters. not be me too rah in decisions? A little more patience? Not to be too particular? and also a timely reminder from someone that worldly stuff counts for nothing in heaven! =)

Where's Your Focus?

2008-12-08T12:25:00.004Z

25During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.

26When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.

27But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

28"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

29"Come," he said.Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.

30But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

31Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

Was reading this and was struck by this thought:

We start on something. We say that we are called to do it. We get all fire up for it. We put our trust in God. Though we may be stepping on fine line, or be in a desperate situation, or at crossroads, we just like Peter, take a step of faith and step onto water. Just as how Jesus told Him, “take courage, don't be afraid.”, we hold on to it and step on water.

But as you walk on, distractions come in, you lose focus, you side track. Peter did the same, he saw the wind and became afraid. You start sinking. You realise the trouble you are in and start crying out to God again. God please... Typical scenario goes on that we promise we won't repeat the same mistakes again yada yada...

Yet, do you realise the gracious hand that is offered out and catch you? The hand that holds on so tightly and not let go? Yet, remember the initial step of taking faith in him. Yet, it ends up, him saying to you, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

My point is, just as how Peter did, it's so easy to lose our focus. But yet, do you realise you can make a turn and go back?

I made mine. What bout you? =)

Strike!

2008-11-23T08:45:00.002Z

Haven't had so many hit-on reminders for quite a while. And since not being so on form for quite a while, it was truly a challenge last Friday having had to share in CF. The fear of going up to speak, the thoughts of not knowing what to say yada yada... I was just lost for words. Was just clasping my hands throughout worship till He reminded me: It's all for doing your best for me! It's not bout what people may see, it's not just bout ur own satisfaction, your own standards but mine and you'll never know till you do it. When that striked me, more thoughts striked me even more.

And just that morning, was just reading Captivating, and it was mentioned that girls tend to look for assurance from guys and vice versa. Though I'm not too sure bout that part, but one thing i realised bout myself was that though i may not find assurance in any special guy for now (haha!), but indeed i do tend to want to get assurance from my close friends. And no doubt when I do not get the assurance, thoughts do come to mind, leading to more questions and at times frustration. What a timely reminder it was.

Just a mere sharing, I was really hit in so many ways, yet i was happy that i managed to see and am able to be more aware of how things go. Nonetheless, the sharing went well too of course and it was by His grace and all thanks to this Daddy of mine.

Two questions i'd like to post to anyone who wanna reply here:
1. The word "life" means... (to be filled in by you)
2. What is your wildest dream for God? (whichever God you believe in, or even for yourself... )
Anyone, care to share? =)

An interesting fact i found out just now, Najib was from Nottingham and the current Chancellor of Nottingham is a Chinese man from China.

January 21st, 2009

2008-11-19T01:16:00.004Z

This has been a long intended post but due to lack of internet connection and a computer, I've not managed to post this up. The phrase that came to me on that day (Nov 10) was "reality has finally set in". Before that, it was just all about plans searching for the best price yada yada... I was very reluctant to buy the ticket then, cos it meant that things were gonna be set for that day... it also meant that trips that had been planned were to be cancelled cos the initial intended date to leave was 23rd, which left me with another 2 days for more to be done. It also meant jumbling up my whole initial cost-friendly visits to grand parents and all. Now, instead I've come to a point where I just feel sick of re-adjusting everything and just wanna wait till the time comes and I've no choice but to plan. Yet, i know this is ignorance.

Above all, i'm still asking him through all this, what is the Big One up above trying to speak to me. With visa accomodation and all not settled, something within me just want to worry yet, I'm reminded that faith=believing without seeing, which is the thing that is keeping me level-headed.

Not meaning to dwell within self-pity or anything, but for once, I just don't feel like leaving this land so fast. A friend mentioned of the excitement of goign overseas which I once felt too, but not at this point of time. I know it's gonna be a new chapter in life, there's gonna be a transition, and the list goes on, yet, thinking of the things that are gonna be left behind here, can really bring tears to my eyes. However, i believe it is a reminder then to, that there's gonna be a time where I'll be bak here again, doing what I've been called to do!

Enough with that, seems like there's 2 months and 2 days(?) if my calculation has not gone haywire, that I'll be in the airport, saying farewells, boarding the plane with 3 other ppl to a land which i have yet to fully research on. On a lighter note, i've been asked many time where is Nottingham and the only answer i can give is, "Errr... It's near to Birmingham, Manchester and London?" hahhaha....

Wisdom...

2008-11-01T05:45:00.004Z

Results for matching came out on Thursday and I got Nottingham, my third choice. =) In fact, when I come to think of it, as I think more and more, I just can't seem to imagine myself anywhere else than there... Though some may say that was not my first choice but still, I see that this is where He wants me to be, and there He'll lead me.

Yet, little little things that I've been sharing with friends through these few days, just seems to strike me more and more... It may seem a little scary, going to a place where no seniors have gone, being reminded of times in KK when I first learned independence and now going to a place where I'd presume I'm gonna be for at least the next four years, with few friends, it kinda scares me. Thinking of the visa, accommodation, plane tickets and all, I just seem lost for words as the time just seems to be looming near as Jan is just less than 3 months away... Not forgetting that exams is jsut rund the corner...

But as I was reading this, as someone praphrased James 1:5 "Ask God for wisdom to know what is right, what God wants done, and the will to do it."

Did you know there are two kinds of wisdom?

Two Kinds of Wisdom

13Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 14But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. 15Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. 16For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.

17But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. 18Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.

This verse came at the right time, just when I had some thoughts running through my mind... Hope it can encourage anyone who may be going through certain situations, having all sorts of thoughts and not harp upon it by be able to move on! >_<

Just a Thought

2008-10-28T02:23:00.002Z

A thought just came into mind and before i forget it, i thought i will jus post it up.

Dad has not been feeling well for the past few days, and whole night, was my sis n I turn. She woke up vomiting whole night, and I was shivering the whole night thru. And now, we're having a headache, muscle ache, diarrhea and the list goes on. Daddy was going thru this past few days, and I don't see how he could have passed it to us since he is in Brunei and we in KL. @.@ Oh well, this is not the whole point...

My point is, even going through all these discomfort, sis was complaining this and that, how uncomfortable it is and with the tons of revision to do. As for me, many things planned for today which requires energy and I just feel weak all over. Said a prayer and was reminded, this is jus a slight fever, stomach discomfort, letharginess etc. What bout those going through even worse situation? Chemo? Radiation?

And here I am, complaining bout this little discomfort? As a doctor, how then do we alleviate this pain or discomfort? In such situation, the only solace I can find is in Him, believing in faith that He is the ultimate Healer, the greatest Physician.

In this journey of becoming a doctor, I am reminded that we have a part to play in our studies, equipping urselves, and at the same time, trusting that He is constantly watching over us, protecting us.

Humbled...

2008-10-09T04:35:00.002+01:00

The message that I received this morning just brought tears to me. Not tears of sadness but tears of joy. How well He knows me. At a point of frustration and hopelessness He chose not one but two to send me messages that not only brought tears of joy, at the same time, strength, endurance to persevere on with what I am doing.

Indeed, I am brought to humility. As this song goes,

Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

For all I've done, all grumbling, complaints, venting rage of anger, lacking in faith, yet, you still forgive, you still keep to your promises, words cannot express my thoughts other than saying I'm living in awe of you!

I'm Back!!!

2008-10-08T18:59:00.000+01:00

While waiting for iWorks, an ever useful tool for newsletter formats and some other programs which i have yet to discover to be installed, i thought of this window, where I have not been updating for a long long time... =)

As I am typing this, currently listening to this song, a recommendation!

Here In My Life

I have never walked on water
Felt the waves beneath my feet
But at Your word Lord
I'll receive Your faith to walk on oceans deep
And I remember how You found me
In that very same place
All my failings surely would have drowned me
Still You made a way

[Chorus]
You are my freedom
Jesus You're the reason
I'm kneeling again at Your throne
Where would I be without You
Here in my life
Here in my life

You have said that all the heavens
Sing for joy at one who finds the
Way to freedom truth of Jesus
Brought from death into this life
And I remember how You saw me
Through the eyes of Your grace
And though the price was Your beloved for me
Still You made a way

Even as i sit typing this, this song just speaks to me. How I have been, even in handling situations such as now, doing a newsletter, with all grumbling, complaints, sleepless nights, depending upon my own strength, prideful, yet how He can just grace me through, is just so amazing.

From rashness, anger, prideful, impatient, attention-seeking, how he has changed one to become a totally different person, I find no words can express. Where would I be, drowned in my own failings, I really can't foresee.

Anyhoo, the word that has been speaking to me for this season is fulfilment. Just as a friend mentioned in a casual talk today, bout how money is just involved in almost everything, the thought just striked me that is money the only way to fulfill all our needs? Is there something more that each of us desires?

Any dreams, visions, hopes that have been buried at one point or another? Where is the fulfilment in life? Are fulfilment met just by friends, movies, clothes, books, internet and whatever the world has to offer? What about the deepest inner desire of our hearts for ourselves? For the someone who has given us the chance of coming into this world, to live a larger life? Is there just no room for that?

Fulfilment definitely does not mean being happy and on top of the world always. To me, going through the ups and downs of life, knowing that I am doing what I like doing, walking a journey of dreaming bigger dreams, I know that is part of fulfilment. Know the feeling of striving for something and at a point where you thought of giving up but not doing so, and having achieved the success, the bittersweet victory, that's fulfilment too!

At the end of the day, have you asked yourself before whether you are fulfilled? Have you thought the day where you may leave this world, will you be able to say that you have left no regrets behind, you have left a fulfilled life?

What say you? =)

It's all thoughts...

2008-09-29T21:11:00.002+01:00

How I wish that there's not a need to live in reality.... to live in a world without worries... Doing the things you want and nothing else... to totally slack and do nothing...

Is this part and parcel of growing up?

Words do not seem to be able to express, what's going thru my head...

Seems to be a long night or rather early morning... have been a while since I've been up so early in the morning...

Thoughts... Reflections... time for some...

It's been a while... :)

2008-09-29T20:15:00.002+01:00

Lama jua aku sudah tak online ni.... Hehhe.... I'm surprised i basically survived without the internet world for 3 weeks, thanks to my faithful laptop which just didn't want to connect to the internet in vista... @.@ Thinking on the bright side, it just comes to show that, I'm able to survive without the net! wakakkaka... Other than not being able to keep in touch with some people...

Neway, it's hols now, after 3 long hectic crazy weeks of MSK plus hospital visits, PBLs, early morning MMS sessions, orientation, IMU Cup, healing rally and not forgetting my batch Msian Studies food fair! It just seems to be a glimpse of an eye, a swoosh of wind and here we all are!

Shucks, after not writing for such a long time, I dunno wat to write? Is this the so called writer's block? =.=| Oh well, will try another post another time then... tata....

Out of a Tornado into a Breeze? Summer? Autumn?

2008-09-02T03:34:00.003+01:00

Hahha... I've no idea what I wanna write but since today is the start of Sem 5 (gosh... even as I was email-ing or msn-ing and was asked bout starting classes again, it sounded very scary) thought that I can start of by a post as well... =D

Well, 3 weeks of hols have just flown by, and speaking of tornadoes... Hahah... Was just an illustration of my room yesterday when the hoarder decided to clear of her stuff... Man... Trying to decided to throw or keep stuff just makes me so undecisive. What if I need it? What if I cannot find this elsewhere anymore? Anywhere after long hours at it, since 4p.m. to 12 a.m., if course with a break in between for some pasta, meatloaf and sour cream salad (yumzzz!), I was just too tired to sleep, lying on my bed, in the ever-clean room, till dunno when that I fell asleep.

A new semester, not a new beginning I would say, but maybe picking up upon bits and pieces where it was left off and moving on, climbing another step up the ladder.

This spoke to me today. Genesis 24:1-21, when Abraham asked his servant to go find a wife for Isaac.

1 Abraham was now old and well advanced in years, and the LORD had blessed him in every way. 2 He said to the chief servant in his household, the one in charge of all that he had, "Put your hand under my thigh. 3 I want you to swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you will not get a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I am living, 4 but will go to my country and my own relatives and get a wife for my son Isaac."
5 The servant asked him, "What if the woman is unwilling to come back with me to this land? Shall I then take your son back to the country you came from?"
6 "Make sure that you do not take my son back there," Abraham said. 7 "The LORD, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father's household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, 'To your offspring I will give this land'-he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. 8 If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there." 9 So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter.
10 Then the servant took ten of his master's camels and left, taking with him all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. 11 He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water.
12 Then he prayed, "O LORD, God of my master Abraham, give me success today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. 13 See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. 14 May it be that when I say to a girl, 'Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I'll water your camels too'-let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master."
15 Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milcah, who was the wife of Abraham's brother Nahor. 16 The girl was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever lain with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again.
17 The servant hurried to meet her and said, "Please give me a little water from your jar."
18 "Drink, my lord," she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink.
19 After she had given him a drink, she said, "I'll draw water for your camels too, until they have finished drinking." 20 So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. 21 Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the LORD had made his journey successful.

The dialogue between Abraham and his chief servant just striked me. He went not knowing what to do, without trust yet in the end coming back trusting in his master and his master's master just illustrates what I hope to see in this season. Despite the what-ifs that may come forth, to know that with prayer and at times even before you have even finished praying, the small faith that one can contend with and move mountains. That's what I yearn for in this semester!

A toast to this semester!

Back!

2008-08-20T03:57:00.002+01:00

HOME SWEET HOME! few hours (in fact many many hours!) before touching ground in Malaysia, while in a foreign land, i was already missing my room, Malaysia's food, friends and yada yada... Partly because I guess I was sick and not being that adventurous in trying food there anymore, I just kept thinking of food from here... hahhaha....

Yea... Last two days were not so nice for me... Feverish, sore throat, bitter taste in mouth, flu... (as the group will say, kena jampi what to do ~~~ hehehhe... Story just goes back to the night before while red, ben and i were walking and refusing to stop at a stall to eat lesehan -- Jogja's speciality, when a man "cursed" us for drinking es jeruk (orang juice from limau madu/ manis which i didn't know that most west m'sians apparently have nvr tried before! hehehhe...) and not stopping at his stall to eat. He cursed that we get demam kuning -- direct translation meaning yellow fever, but being med students, we came to think that yellow fever does not exist in M'sia hence he meant jaundice cos apparently there's been Hep A scares around the area...

Neway, pics will be up later hopefully when i manage to get it from the rest... =) Overall, it has been a great week away, with a different group of friends, allowing them to see the other side of me other than what they have always portrayed me as (haha!), the sheer craziness, jokes, times of walking from one end to another, taking all forms of transport....

Leaving that to another post, here's jsut to say that I'm back and it's so good to be back! =)

Another Sleepless Night...

2008-08-12T17:49:00.002+01:00

Since I was reminded by this someone that it's been a while since i last blogged, and having a un-sleepful night, I decided to drop a few lines here... YAY! hahaha...

Not really un-sleepful in fact but more of not wanting to sleep so as not to tire myself out even more cos I gotta be up by 3a.m. which in facts mean in about 2 hours or so. Sleeping now most probably will end up with me being groggy and nauseous due to lack of sleep which i totally dislike to start of my trip to Indonesia!

Yeah... me going Indonesia! Hahaha... undoubtedly, I may not seem as uncontrolled as some people (you know who you are) but I truly am looking forward to this trip. 6 days and I'll be back here... I think this is gonna be one of the proper hols I get till I finish Semester 5... unless you count the Hari Raya hols as a proper hols. With three systems to study and having not so nice experience with the past one, nah... I doubt so... Unless something pops up.... *hopefully* -_-

I officially finished Sem 4 last Thursday. Have an elated yet sad feeling. Elated knowing that I've finished two years in IMU, that I've sort of made it through nearly half of med school, yet at the same time, not wanting to leave this place where many bonds were formed, stories written, lives shared and yet there still seems so much to be done here...

Just as this song goes, "Greater things have yet to come, greater things are still to be done, in this city."

Are you willing to ask Him what He wants you to do and be a part of allowing greater things to happen here? ????

Forgiveness and Healing

2008-07-29T15:23:00.002+01:00

Forgiveness... Who doesn't need forgiveness? Dare you say that not a thing you did in a day is not wrong? Well, at times unintentionally but that's not the main point here. I've heard many times over and over bout not being able to forgive someone because of this or that. True. Justified. You were hurt, be it minor or major, but what I've been taught is this:

4Forgive us our sins,
for we also forgive everyone who sins against us.
-Luke 11:4-

In other words meaning that we have to receive forgiveness from God and forgive those who have offended you.

And definitely I believe with that comes the question of healing as well. Not an easy thing. I remember someone telling me that healing can even take years. And i definitely agree. But yet, it gives no excuses at the same time to say that because you need time to heal and do nothing about the offense. Countless of times, do admit that each and everyone does do that. Confrontation is not easy definitely. But what is it that you truly desire?

It definitely takes one to make that step don't you agree?

A Much Needed Rest

2008-07-20T14:31:00.003+01:00

Blogging another post just after the previous one... Now with a different feeling... Know how it feels when one opens the champagne and the pop sound goes... The euphoria within... Hahah... I know I'm exaggerating but no words describes my feelings for having completed the essay. I FINALLY DECLARE SELECTIVES OVER!

Yet, unforgettable would be this afternoon.The struggle and the sense of hopelessness, reflections with no answers, rush of questions in my head, and trying to avoid by sleeping through it all to no avail. I feel weak. I need rest. It just strike my mind. The Breastplate of Righteousness. The Belt of Truth.

An arrangement of priorities is required. What? How? Selah...

Gombak tomorrow. May it be a fruitful time! =)

I Told Myself So...

2008-07-20T07:19:00.004+01:00

I told myself and friends kindly told me to get the short essay and paired folio done early. Deadline's tommorrow 5.00p.m. but with Pao in KKB this afternoon and me in Gombak tomorrow with news that Dr Achike is in charge -- meaning no finishing early most probably-- our deadline has way passed.

What it ends up with? Watching a movie halfway at 4a.m. and waking up at 8.30a.m. unwillingly to finish the movie so that we are able to come up with something. And it's only half way done.

With so little sleep, our brains are definitely not functioning well, brain block, sleepiness, loss of words... man... How to write?

While trying to concoct something up, have been entertaining myself with blogs to relax the mind and doing an all-easy sandwich. Toast the bread, crack an egg in the microwave (don't forget to break the yolk a little or it'll burst) on medium high for 2 minutes, spread butter, put cheese on the bread after you've put the egg on top, re-toast it to melt the cheese, and, ta-da! A meal ready to be eaten in front of the computer! heheheh...

Wish me all the best in finishing the folio... @.@

Puzzled...

2008-07-18T18:44:00.002+01:00

I really dun get it when one says something and means another thing. This is not the first time, in fact countless time. Yet, what do you expect me to say? Tell you straight in the face? Sheesh, what a waste of time I figure it to be. I'm just so sick and tired of all that's happening around. How i wish for a getaway, away from all these.

I get puzzled with the doings and what am I supposed to react? Is it that I've not stand firm upon my beliefs to "rebuke" you and have I taken on your burden? Or should I just ignore what you say? At times, I feel I have the patience of being a listener or capable of handling personal matters but such situations indeed leave me in doubt. What you want me to say? I say my thoughts, it's either ignored, over-analyzed or masuk telinga kiri keluar telinga kanan. I shut up ppl think I anti-social. So what now?????

DON'T EVER COME AND ASK ME WHO AM I WRITING ABOUT? Sorry, when I say this I mean everyone... So please just don't ask me. AS I ALWAYS SAY, SIAPA MAKAN CILI DIA TERASA PEDASNYA. IF YOU THINK IT'S YOU, TOO BAD... GO THINK WHAT'VE YOU DONE. IF IT'S NOT YOU, FINE... This is my blog and I believe in the freedom to rant and say whatever I want.

And trust me, as I write this, healing has come upon me.... =) Therapeutic... haha...

What Crazy Things Have I Not Done Before?

2008-07-15T07:15:00.005+01:00

I feel like a zombie now, awake but my mind is just empty, blank... Yet quite amazed that I am still able to stay awake after just 3 hours sleep early this morning. Overall, I should think that my sleep for the past 5 days have not amounted to 20 hours! Kononnya selectives, aparently I just seem to be so occupied to sleep... :p Not really actually, past 3 days were more of insomnia and having to wake up early to do "part-time" in IMU, then yesterday night, was up blogging and couldn't really sleep and finishing of my last Reflections on Medical Practice for Lit. How I wish another day of slacking can come.... Hopefully tomorrow if all goes well with our video for Friday's presentation.

What was the crazy thing done today? I was supposed to wake up at 5.30a.m. to accompany Amanda to the market to get ingredients for her first-time curry mee. And our feat was to finish cooking the whole thing by 10a.m.. Ended up that we both overslept till 6.30a.m., when I somehow just jumped out of bed and saw the time and quickly gave her a call. In fifteen minutes, got ready, got my stuff for uni ready and left home. Hmmm... Come to think of it, housewifes in the making indeed... Hehe... Nah, we are not ready for that yet. yet to enjoy life to the max! :p I know many will say who in the world wakes up so early in the morning to go pasar, and some friends in fact say they will never step foot into a market. To be frank, I like going to markets cos I believe that the freshest of all comes from there, and it's cheaper cos in supermarkets they charge you for packing as well.That I thank mummy for allowing me to be exposed to such things! =)

And we finished marketing in less than an hour to go back to her place to prepare everything. Due to the lack of technology (a grinder) or the use of olden days tool (a pounder) we succumbed to using hands and a chopping knife to perform the works of the two wonders. Which took up half of the time to prepare the soup base. But just as she said, by the power of the twins, and when great mind think alike, we do work well as a team. We managed to get the whole dish done in good time. In fact about half an hour before the promised time. =) Oh no, I forgot to take pictures of our achievements! Grr...

Oh well, maybe this is not so much of a crazy feat afterall come to think of it, compared to the rest which were done before. Climbing a hill in the middle of the night, staying a night at the airport sleeping on benches while waiting to send a friend off, watching sunrise on top of a mountain... Hahaha... It just beings back a smile to me thinking of these times. And just as she my beloved twin reminded me, we will be parting ways soon enough... Next year this time, I truly wonder still where will I be. This is not meant to be an emo post, so hence I'll stop here for now. Back to video-editing with the group... =.= Or a short nap? hehhehehhe...

Hancock and Pastors

2008-07-14T17:34:00.007+01:00

Note the word up there... Hehehe... But before i move on to the latter, I rather talk about the initial thing first. Opposing the words of many friends who have warned not to watch Hancock as it was pointless, I degil-degil still went and watch it, with the beloved Xingie after a fusion Jap dinner with her as her belated birthday dinner... =) We wanted to watch The Incredible Hulk which sad to say, I have yet to watch and as TGV in Sunway Pyramid was not showing it already and me having watch most of the shows there, resulting in Hancock left.

Those who have yet to watch the movie, feel free if you do not want to continue reading or if you d not have plans to watch then go ahead. =) In fact, I won't discourage people from going to watch it, but if you wanna save more, go watch bringing your Student ID before 6p.m.

Won't say the whole plot was good, nor was there any climax in the show, though there was a twist somewhere near the end, and in fact I think the ending a sheer bit lame. Not a super duper good movie lar...

But there were scenes in the movie that striked me:

The initial part after Hancock met Rey Embrey and was willing to listen and even follow what Embrey asked of him to do, which included going into jail, and turning over a new leaf. It all started with Embrey willing to be frank with him and tell Hancock that he was lonely and that's was why he put on the couldn't-care-less attitude. I don't know is it because I have had too many a literature class that I start to rationalise things in the lit way which leads to such thinking, but the question to ask ourselves is have there been times where we think that a person may be weird or aloof, hence keep a distance from them? I admit that I too have been in such situations, and when I find conversations hard to continue with them, I tend to put a barrier from them. And i really felt that this season, God is really teaching me to see people from a different point of view, a non-judgmental point. Undeniably, it is hard, but if you were never to take up a challenge how do we continue to grow? =) Thing to do: Read Everybody's Normal Till You Get to Know Them by John Ortberg
Embrey told Hancock, "You have a calling. You are a hero." I am reminded of the time Ms Sheba was telling us that at times, you just need ONE prompting from someone to tell you that you can do it, and ta-da! YOU CAN DO IT! You may be one who is always doing things, what about offering a word of encouragement to those around you who needs it? You never know how far it can drive you. And when you start it, you in fact find yourself doing it more and more times. =)
Embrey was willing to be frank and walk all through with Hancock. It was not easy, he did not want to listen, he disagreed, he did not do as followed, but Embrey was persistent and persevered in encouraging and standing firm in what he believed. In fact, he could have just gave up half way through and continue with his project of changing the world, but no, he also took the time to talk with Hancock, teaching him patiently (especially the part to say G-O-O-D), encouraging him along the way to the changed man he became.
The many times Hancock passed when he was in a discussion group. 5 or 6 times in fact. It reminded me of people who could have rejected us many a times. As for me, I tend to get discourage and stop asking them be it to go out, to attend an event, to just catch up and have a chit chat or whatever not. I've realised I have some how allowed the fear of rejection to encompass my whole being. The case goes with close friends as well. They may mean so much to you yet you fear rejections and disappointments from them, that i personally end up putting a protection cover upon myself, so as to not experience such hurts. And Pastor Tim's message last week just came so rightly about the Belt of Truth and the reality of disappointments.
Taking baby steps before larger steps. After the 5 or 6 times of passing, Hancock decided to share. He started with just sharing his name and what he usually does. Those may be small steps and seem so insignificant, but his discussion group people were very encouraging, thanking him for sharing and also praising him. And the part where he learned to say good job. Though it did seem lame, but have we said, "Good job!" to those around us, who have somehow or other help us in one way or another? =)
And the time when the police inspector was shocked at Hancock praising him Good Job; it's the same like how one do feel at times when someone praises us for a thing well done, yet we keep denying. Maybe it's the Asian culture and mentality to do so, but just as how i remember once Ps Joshua from ECF Penang share bout how children like receiving gifts and accept whatever is presented before them with willing arms, it's high time we learn to accept and return the praises to people as well, just as how at the end the polisce inspector thank Hancock instead of initially scolding him even over the news where everyone can hear his rantings.

As i left the cinema, I had this question in mind. In the current society we live in where ignorance is bliss, where one's situation does not concern another, why did Embrey sowillingly took upon himself to change another man's life? He had a family of his own, his job didn't seem to be going too well with the many rejections he got for his idea of changing the world, and he definitely did not get a profit from making Hancock a better person. I think one thing was that he trusted and had faith in Hancock and saw the potential deep within this man. And in this realistic world, undoubtedly we may or may not find a person who is willing to do such things, going all the way out for the sake of a man whom people cursed for reducing the crime rate in the city, but it just strike me of one man who is just so ever willing to do so, and it brings comfort to me, He is my daddy up above. =)

And this is not the end of it all yet... Now to the second part of the title. Hahahahaha... I still cannot believe it that I had no clue as to who was sitting beside me. Who else none other than Pastor Steven!!! wakakka... And beside him were Pastor Tim, Pastor Shawn and Joseph. The power of these 4 people. I guess it was a men night out for them... hehhehhe... Yes, and the beloved Xingie has kindly reminded that the observant me for once failed to notice who was sitting beside me. I did not know Ps Steven was sitting beside me till the end of the show! A sheer 1 hour and 30 minutes plus plus! Talking about coincidence... Those were the 2 seats left near the back rows in the middle of different people and to get a seat beside them! One thing learnt: LOOK TO SEE WHOSE SITTING BESIDE YOU!

What an ending to a fruitful day! hehehhe....

My Past Two Weeks...

2008-07-13T16:25:00.015+01:00

What have i achieved in the past two weeks?

Movies watched

Wanted

Get Smart

Nanny Diaries

Run Fat Boy Run

Hellboy 2

Journey to the Centre of the Earth 3D

Books Read

All Things are Possible Through Prayer

Little Town on the Prairie

To Kill A Mockingbird

3 books in 2 weeks, 6 movies in 2 weeks -- some feat I have not accomplished in a long long while... =) hah!

Still have yet to maximise my time... Though selectives seem relatively free, but still, I don't seem to have gotten enough sleep and with insomnia adding on to all that, I seem to be going about in a daze, especially the past three days.

Not forgetting some movies I have yet to watch from Swee Leen and Pei Shern - Persepolis, Boleyn Girl etc... and the promised movie(?s) with Suisse... hehehe...
But one thing that cheers me up is the RM100 i earned from "working part time" in uni for Saturday and Sunday. No doubt was not easy but i guess not that tiring physically but eye straining working from 9 to 5 for the weekend. =)

So What Do You Do?

2008-07-11T17:00:00.002+01:00

In the event of not wanting to spoil people's mood of the WorldVision One Life exhibition this is the post post event post which has been dated in advance.

Taking a journey through the footsteps of a child. Three children in fact. One each in Malaysia, India and Cambodia. I left that place asking myself what is it that I can do for this people? Definitely not pity, but other than that what else?

Some contract it from parents: at birth from a mother, who could have either contracted it herself or through her husband; some through their partners; some through blood transfusion; some through child-trafficking and the list goes on. Is this their destiny, is it fate? Yet one thing that PC said which struck me was that despite it all, now they still have the choice of living on, with the help from you and me.

I started off with going through the journey with John, not without much thought. Maybe empathy here and there and that was it. There was a part where you had to wait at the counter to be diagnosed +ve or -ve. You receive a chop on your hand telling you whether it was +ve or =ve. He was diagnosed HIV +ve. Then I decided to go for the next journey again. This time with Jothi. Her living condition was shocking and thankfully she came out -ve. After going through the first one, I thought to tell the girl at the counter that i need not chop already since i had one "+" sign on. She asked for my other hand, only then i realised Jothi was HIV -ve. Later did it dawn upon me that though I may say I do not stigmatize ppl with AIDS, in a sense I had immediately thought that she would be positive just by hearing how her life has been where in fact it was not so. How many times have we judge a person just by hearing a part of a whole story or even hearing bits and pieces from friends or some unknown people? And the sentence that strike me most was when Jothi was told she tested -ve and the mp3 when on playing, "You are HIV negative. You have a choice to make. Because of the stigma surrounding AIDS, people do not dare to return to their community. It's for you to take them by their hand."

Then i continued on with the life of Srey Mom, a girl from Cambodia. How from a daddy's girl to a girl forced into child trafficking and contracting AIDS. How her mom left with her brothers after her dad died and she living on with her grandmother. And when she left her hometown in hope of finding her mother, ending up on the streets, in a brothel, with a woman in-charge! and beiong forced into sex with countless people a day. A child having to undergo this! And when she thought she had managed to live it behind after escaping from the boss, finding her mom and helping her mom sell food at a stall, only to find that people recognised her and discriminated her. When she started showing signs of contracting AIDS - skin problems especially, even her mom asked her to leave.

She found refuge in a hospital and in World Vision Trauma and Counselling Centre. She was given a chance of living anew again and she took the chance to do so. Now she lives differently and is going around providing awareness of child trafficking and AIDS.

As quoted from one of the posters:
They are real people, with real names.
They have loved ones, stories to tell
and hopes for the future.

Some have passed on,
others have lost dear ones.

Something for us to think about us ay? =)

A Day Ending Well... =)

2008-07-08T16:25:00.006+01:00

Slacked the whole morning off yet i didn't regret it... In fact, I enjoyed it and the simple lunch with Lynn with our grilled meat due to the laziness of frying and wanting to save oil... hehehehe... Haven't have had such days in a long long time. Maybe this hols, this is what He wants me to do. Have been asking him is there anything that I can get myself doing and not waste away this free time, mebe this is it? Will see as things come along... =)

Neway, the late afternoon was spent rather differently. Was spent at the Dream Centre, DUMC's new building which i admit, i have yet to step into. And today was my first time! And imagine how sakai i was when Kareem was asking PC were they using the sports complex and I continued asking whether they rented the sports complex. IN fact, they built the Dream Centre with the Sports Complex! Sakai-nya... ( I know, some use this to describe an Indigenous group in Brunei and some parts of East Malaysia?) but i can't think of any other words other than this.

More of what is going on at Dream Centre will be post-scheduled for a later date so that i do not spoil the whole thing for those who have yet to go. ;p If anyone is free, do go check out the One Life exhibit at the Dream Centre, organised by World Vision. It is a once-in-a lifetime journey and from my personal experience, it is different from other exhibitions. Do check it out!

If anyone interested in following me, I'll be going again with few friends on Thursday at about 4p.m. To know more, ask me! Or log on to www.worldvision.com.my

Lazing...

2008-07-08T04:29:00.003+01:00

If you were to see the time now, 11.28a.m., I'm supposedly to be in a Literature class talking bout Ode to Melancholy... Well, if u've guessed well, I'm still home, dressed in a comfortable attire, sitting in front of the computer, blog-hopping, replying emails, and just slacking! hahahha....

An SMS with my beloved housemate at 9.34a.m.
Me: Hey... Planning to go class today? Hehe... I feel lazy to go...
Her (at 9.35a.m.): Me too.....let's skip

And since then till now, she has not come out of her room.... Hehehe...

And here I am, in front of the computer... Feeling so relaxed, with the occasional crane and tractor and whatever not behind roar-ing away... Suddenly thankful that the TV is not here... I rather like it here, quiet, entertainment-less, yet relaxing... Maybe the past week has been hectic going up and down here and there that I just enjoy where I am now.

Lying on the bed, reading the many book i got from a certain someone, I'm really enjoying it. Life for the current semester has seemed too hectic for me that I lost all these times... Having it back now, I just can't say anything else but just enjoy it just as it is.

For once, I feel like going to somewhere ulu where there's no one but me, and i get to do whatever I wan to do with no obligations. Lying in the open air, holding a book and enjoying the surroundings... Sounds so emo... hahahah... Nah, I'm not...

Just enjoying the time just as it is... =)

Literature and Medicine

2008-07-02T14:49:00.004+01:00

The third day of Selectives... Don't know why I just feel lazy... A friend suggested to slack for this one week to built up guilt then can get myself working on something at least next week... What am i supposed to work on anyway? Studies? I think if i reli do that, some will strangle me... Haha... But still, I should get myself moving... Studies, reflections for lit deadline, reading, exercising, movies... and the list goes on.... Hehehe...

Seems like there's nothing much to be done, yet behind my mind, there seems to have things to be done. Life seems to have become very routined. Morning - classes, Afternoon - home or out lepak-ing, Evening/Night - home watching TV or reading next day's text. I guess I want more than this. Not that I want to make myself busy once again but maybe to just do something meaningful? I guess its time to really pen down my thoughts and check-up upon myself once again... Another time-out? Maybe i should...

The next two months seems very free, am thinking whether there's anything I can do or learn to further broaden my knowledge... But can't think of any... Suggestions anyone?

Besides that, Lit is interesting. In a sense, I feel it is able to stir up humane thoughts within us, stirring deep thoughts, thoughts which in fact are unavoidable. One may be able to avoid it for now, but the facts portrayed will come bounced back once again. Yet, my problem is that I don't know how to bring out what I wanna say just as it is. Geramnya... Books! More books! =p

Post-Summative Thoughts...

2008-06-28T18:20:00.004+01:00

Even as Summative has ended, I don't know what were the thoughts of others and all, but to be frank, the first thought that came to mind was, "Good riddance to bad rubbish." Hehe... No offence to anyone, but I guess I was just tired with having to study three systems with unwise time management, I guess I brought it upon myself. Yet, as we finished our summative, it signifies the nearing of the end of Semester 4. And with that, for many, comes the thought of our PMS (for those who don't know, it's our Partner Medical School).

And the question that striked me today was how far is our trust and faith in God. Where we desire to go, is it His will or our will to be done? Is there faith in where He is going to lead us, or are we still trusting in ourselves more than in Him? Our doubts, our worries, are we bonded down by them? Are there certain things holding us down still? Think bout it!

4Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; 5in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; 6in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; 7in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; 8through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; 9known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; 10sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.
~2 Corinthians 6:4-10~

Reflections... Lots... To be shared another time... =)

The Student's Psalm

2008-06-24T17:11:00.003+01:00

PS: It's not written by me... You can find it just by googling Student Psalms... =)

I Want to...

2008-06-24T15:27:00.004+01:00

Once Summative of the 3 Systems is over, I want to:

Clean my room! (As I was thinking what to do after exams, the first thing that came to mind was to clean up my room. Hahaha... A tornado indeed it is...)
Go out with Yvonne before she goes back to KK. Of course, Li-Shun too lar... Just in case she drops by and doesn't see her name here... hahahha....
Watch movies!!! (whatever movies I've missed out on for the past few months, I don't care, I MUST MUST watch!)
Finish the last few episodes of House
Catch up on the latest TV series my sis has so "kindly" downloaded
Sent out few emails to long-lost souls... Sorry guys! ehehhe...
MUST catch up on reading! Man... Many have been talking bout the books I have, time to catch up... :p Mark my words! hahahah...
Catch up on sleep! And as Trish says learn the art of sleeping... hehehhe
Start revising for EOS 5??? *scratches head*
Anyone else wanna make an appointment with me? hehhehe... jokin' joking! :p

Hahahah... I just love planning.. Studies? :p This is a reward for studying and now... It's back to the grindstone again... grrr...